Pezhead Monthly | Pez Limerick Archive

This page contains all of the limericks featured on the pages of Pezhead Monthly.

In 2009, I performed a reading of some of these limericks at Pezamania 19 as part of my live Pez Poetry Slam. Check out the video here, and enjoy all of the Pez limericks below!

There once was a Pez collector named Kevin
Whose collection stood at three thousand eleven,
He stopped by the store,
Finding forty-three more,
And shouting, "Hurrah, this must truly be heaven!"

I surfed to the site called eBay
To see how much people would pay.
For a vintage dispenser,
Spare no expense, or
Watch that great find slip away.

This month gives us cause to rejoice
The day when we won our own voice.
Freedom is great,
And to celebrate
I'll tilt back a Pez of my choice.

There once was a Pezhead named Paul
Who had ev'ry Pez, one and all.
When laid end to end,
I'm telling you, friend,
It was surely a million feet tall.

There once was a Pezhead named Spencer
Who only collected dispensers.
He would say "No, thanks"
To Pez clocks and banks,
For licensed Pez just made him tenser.

There once was a child named Andy
Who consumed every flavor of candy.
But when Pez was tried,
He knew deep inside
That none other would be quite as dandy.

There once was a Pezhead named Lorie
Who searched for Pez fortune and glory,
But none could be found
At the new diner in town,
So she settled for Veal Cacciatore.

There once was a Pezhead named Morris
Who drove around town in his Taurus.
When on a Pez spree,
He'd brake suddenly
And pounce like a Tyrannosaurus.

There once was a Pezhead named Rhoda
Who made her way to Minnesota,
And her sole intention
At that Pez convention
Was purchasing a Crystal Yoda.

There once was a Pezhead named Gertie
Whose collection became rather dirty
It took her a year
Of blood, sweat, and tears,
But now her Pez sure do look purty.

I have a friend that collects Pez-is
I don't understand the hype is what I says-is
My friend has tons
Says it's lots of fun
That's all about my friend that collects Pez-is

There once was a Pezhead named Charley
Who enjoyed the songs of Bob Marley
Oh ya he be jammin',
But he also be scammin'
All my Pez, and mon, that ain't gnarly

There once was a Pezhead named Thomas.
A good little boy, this I promise.
But when trick or treating,
He was self-defeating,
For his costume was just his pajamas.

There once was a Pezhead named Joe
'Twas last heard from 6 months ago
The newsletter, neglected,
But Pez still collected,
So now it is on with the show.

There once was a Pezhead named Nerky
Who was known for being quite quirky.
For Thanksgiving dinner,
He came up with a winner:
He served Cola Pez instead of turkey.

There once was a Pezhead named Rabbit
Who had an enormous Pez habit.
When Easter came knockin'
He gave away chocolate
But kept all his Pez in the cabinet.

There once was a Pezhead named Quentin
Whose Pez jones was quite unrelentin'.
He'd search through the aisles
For miles and miles
And finding no Pez would torment him.

There once was a Pezhead named Sid
Who craved all things Pez-related
He went nearly insane
At an aquarium in Spain
With the number of times "Pez" was stated.

There once was a Pezhead named Jerry
Whose favorite flavor was cherry
He'd comb through the racks
Till he found those packs,
With a focus both noble and scary.

There once was a Pezhead named Nero
Who enjoyed the work of Deniro
"You talking to me?"
Quite often said he,
As he flipped back a Pez superhero.

There once was Pezhead named Hank
Who withdrew a large sum from the bank.
He hopped in his car
And drove really far
To a convention so groovy and swank.

There once was a Pezhead named Jason,
A target of mean campsite hazin'.
It caused him such stress
When they stole his Pez,
And now all those kids he is chasin.'

There once was a Pezhead named Al
Who happened upon a yard sale.
When he saw that shoebox,
He shouted “This rocks!”
And went home with vintage Pez Pals.

There once was a Pezhead named Bruce
Who dressed as a bat chasing clues.
When down in his cave,
It was Pez that he craved
Before he would set himself loose.

There once was a Pezhead, Selina;
It’s doubtful you ever have seen her.
She clawed like a cat
And battled with bats,
But Pez would improve her demeanor.

There once was a Pezhead named Gordon
Whose job was very rewardin’.
On his shelf, a Dark Knight,
And villains of fright,
On his roof, a signal of warnin’.

There once a Pezhead named Wyatt,
A fellow quite fallow and quiet.
But his budget would burst
Thanks to that good thirst,
For if he found new Pez he'd buy it.

There once was a Pezhead named Michael
Who rode on a red motorcycle.
Though he didn't pop wheelies,
He popped Pez quite freely,
His revvin' and Pezzin', delightful.

There once was a Pezhead named Vlad
Who partied all night, what a lad.
When sunlight was beaming,
He was sleeping and dreaming
Of all of the Pez that he had.

There once was a Pezhead named Kringle
Who was known for his jolly and jingle.
For good boys and girls
He traveled the world,
And Pez would set him atingle.

There once was a Pezhead named June,
A collector for many a moon.
She and her son Beaver
Were both true believers;
Her top Pez was Daniel Boone.

There once was a Pezhead named Rick,
A fan of the ol' hockey stick.
He hosted a show
Where Pezheads could go
To hang out and talk candy bricks.

There once was a Pezhead named Bela
Who kept vintage Pez in its cello.
A quite large amount
Was his total Pez Count,
Eternally such a fine fella

There once was a Pezhead named Prancer,
Who, when he found Pez, was a dancer.
When asked what should be
Beneath that bright tree,
"Some more Pez" was always his answer.

There once was a Pezhead named Harry
Whose favorite flavor was cherry.
He'd never forget
When Sally he met;
They both found Pez extraordinary.

There once was a Pezhead named Porky
Whose friends considered him dorky.
But he found redemption
At that Pez convention
With others who were just as quirky.

There once was a Pezhead named Billy
Who liked to indulge in some chili.
He'd drive down to Skyline,
Where often he'd dine,
And pop out Pez candies like silly.

There once was a Pezhead, Madonna,
Whose collection was pure Pez nirvana.
When asked if she ever
Would quit Pez forever,
She answered "I never will wanna."

There once was a Pezhead named Norman
Who found Pez collecting rewardin'
One time at IKEA
He yelled "Mamma Mia!"
When his eyes saw the Billy that mornin'

There once was a Pezhead named Vixen
Whose toy he put candy bricks in
He often would savor
A single Pez flavor,
But sometimes he'd want to be mixin'.

There once was a Pezhead named Grover
Who carried his own four-leaf clover
He'd often get lucky
When down in Kentucky,
And find Pez that others passed over.

There once was a Pezhead named Toad
Who loved finding Pez on the road.
He spent half his summer
Helping out plumbers,
And now he just needs to unload.

A Pezhead named Blanche Devereaux
Was always collecting Pez trucks
A stone cold Pez baller,
She sure loved her haulers,
On which she'd spend plenty of bucks.

King Charles is now coronated,
A moment to be celebrated.
Because I'm feeling royal,
A steak will be boiled
And a Pez shelf will be decorated.

There once was a Pezhead named Freddy,
Runnin' down dreams like Tom Petty.
In his red and green sweater,
He found nothing better
Than popping out Pez like confetti.

There once was a Pezhead named Rudy
Whose candy was brick-shaped and fruity
His bold sleigh directing
And his Pez collecting
Were his two most critical duties.

There once was a Pezhead named Rhea
Whose collection was sure one to see, yeah
She yelled "Dilly Dilly!"
When she bought a Billy
One afternoon out at IKEA.

A saint of a fellow named Patrick,
Collecting Pez makes him ecstatic.
This year, his intention's
To attend three conventions;
I believe that is called a Pez hat trick.

There once was a Pezhead named Ringo
Who often played games of Pez Bingo
When they called out B7,
He yelled to the heavens
And won a Pez set of Flamingos.

There once was a Pezhead named Vader,
A dreadful, imposing dictator,
But alas, this dark Sith
Found his true joy with
His Pez, for there was nothing greater.

There once was a Pezhead named Sam
Whose collection was quite the grand slam.
Indeed do I mean it,
And maybe you've seen it
In the dictionary under KABLAM.

There once was an opera Phantom
Whose life was chaotic and random.
But he did find some order
And fellow supporters
In Pez, his by far favorite fandom.

There once was a Pezhead named Lorne,
A Hoosier from when he was born.
He quite rocked the boat
When he said, and I quote,
"I love Pez much more so than corn."

There once was a Pezhead named Dasher
Who was known as a real party crasher.
But he’d always come bearing
Some Pez for the sharing,
And never not held in high stature.

There once was a Pezhead named Gomez,
A dapper, fine fellow, oh yes.
And his dear Morticia
Was all that he wished for,
Along with a house full o’ Pez.

There once was a Pez Easter lamb
Who found itself in quite a jam.
No paint did appear
On its paws, face, or ears,
But it still said "I am what I am."

Enjoy Pez, but please do so responsibly.