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Pez Haiku Archive

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On this single page,
You'll find all the Pez haikus
From Pezhead Monthly.


Pez Haiku #1

I tilt my head back
And give my insides to you.
I, Pez dispenser.

Pez Haiku #2

A Pez dispenser:
So like a newborn puppy,
Only housebroken.

Pez Haiku #3

Some Pezheads prefer
"Mint on card," but it's my choice
To pop that blister.

Pez Haiku #3, Revisited

Though some may keep them
"Mint on card," if you love Pez,
Free, free, set them free.

Pez Haiku #4

You'd better not pout,
Cry, or shout; I'm telling you why:
If you do, no Pez.

Pez Haiku #5

If I were a Pez,
The first thing I think I'd do
Would be to get loaded.

Pez Haiku #6

I wonder if Pez
Talk of us when left alone,
Or if they're speechless.

Pez Haiku #7

I want to run with
The wild horses, as long as they
Lead me to some Pez.

Pez Haiku #8

Sleep soundly, little
One. Tomorrow we head for
The Pez convention.

Pez Haiku #9

What if we were the
Dispensers, and the Pez were
Collectors? Trippy.

Pez Haiku #10

The package says "assorted,"
But the grape and orange flavors
Are sadly missing.

Pez Haiku #11

In life, as in Pez
Dispensers, never forget
The value of a refill.

Pez Haiku #12

Summer arrives this
Month, bringing hot weather
And cool Pez for all.

Pez Haiku #13

Fifty years of Pez,
And yet everyday is
A new beginning.

Pez Haiku #14

Take me out to the
Ballgame, provided there is
A Pez giveaway.

Pez Haiku #15

I thought it was a
Current, but alas! The stem
Proclaimed "3.9."

Pez Haiku #16

Trick or Treat, smell my
Feet, give me something good to
Eat. Pez will suffice.

Pez Haiku #17

O Dream Dispenser,
I lost you when I received
The outbid notice.

Pez Haiku #18

Dashing through the snow
Makes it rather hard to load
A Pez dispenser.

Pez Haiku #19

When the New Years ball
Dropped, my fear was that some Pez
Was trapped beneath it.

Pez Haiku #20

If a diamond is
Forever, then a Pez is
Not too far behind.

Pez Haiku #21

She loves Pez, she loves
Pez not. She loves Pez, she loves
Pez not… She loves Pez!

Pez Haiku #22

Colorful Pez shelf,
Like a river do you wash
Away the dullness.

Pez Haiku #23

If Pez dispenses
In the woods and no one hears,
Then does it dispense?

Pez Haiku #24
By Min Tonkard

Little plastic things
That drive me out of my mind,
All through my new house.

Pez Haiku #25

I love you, puppy,
But if you get near my Pez,
Kiss your treats goodbye.

Pez Haiku #26

Retro Pez tin sign
With the cool Pez Astronaut,
Fly me to the moon.

Pez Haiku #27

O Canada, why
Must you taunt me with Euro
Pez for ten bucks each?

Pez Haiku #28

If you only have
Two days to live, spend them at
A Pez convention.

Pez Haiku #29

Go to school, young one.
School will lead to a job, and
Money for more Pez.

Pez Haiku #30

Though temperatures
May drop in these autumn months,
Pez is on the rise.

Pez Haiku #31

What could be better
Than all the Pez in the world?
Finding just one more.

Pez Haiku #32

O little candy,
How do you manage to bring
Such big joy to me?

Pez Haiku #33

It's a brand new year,
But I am proud to report
It's the same ol' Pez.

Pez Haiku #34

I gave you my heart,
So please don't go breaking it
By selling my Pez.

Pez Haiku #35

On St. Patrick's Day,
Ev'ryone's a bit Irish.
Me? I rish for Pez.

Pez Haiku #36

Do April showers
Bring May flowers? I hope they
At least bring some Pez.

Pez Haiku #37

It was ten years back
When Pez came into my life.
It hasn't left since.

Pez Haiku #38

When it hears that Pez
Is licensing more and more,
My bank account weeps.

Pez Haiku #39
By Min Tonkard

As I eat popcorn
He asks me for a Pez poem,
And so here it is.

Pez Haiku #40

The dog is barking
While I am deep in Pez thought.
Put him outside, please.

Pez Haiku #41

You've reached the number
Of a devoted Pezhead.
Please leave a message.

Pez Haiku #42

Whenever you load
A Pez dispenser, you know
You're in for a treat.

Pez Haiku #43

The first few days back
From the big Pez convention:
Waking from a dream.

Pez Haiku #44

Thank you, Hungary,
For taking the time to make
My Boba Fett Pez.

Pez Haiku #45

When a Pumpkin Pez
Is emptied, it is truly
A Pez Hollowing.

Pez Haiku #46

I have one Pez left,
And yet there are two of us.
Let's cut it in half.

Pez Haiku #47

Let's keep the tree up
One more week, for the sake of
The Pez ornaments.

Pez Haiku #48

O Pez dispensers,
You make my work cubicle
A true oasis.

Pez Haiku #49

March comes in like a
Lion, goes out like a lamb.
Two great dispensers.

Pez Haiku #50

The new Star Wars Pez
Have at last arrived in store.
The Pez force is with us.

Pez Haiku #51

I am reimagining
My Pez dispensers.

Pez Haiku #52

Gas prices are high,
And soon Pez prices will be, too.
Curse these wretched times.

Pez Haiku #53

Did you hear the one
About the furious Pez?
Man, he really flipped.

Pez Haiku #54

Popcorn needs butter
Much like Pez dispensers need
Tasty Pez candy.

Pez Haiku #55

I'll suffer mullets
And overwhelming incense
For flea market Pez.

Pez Haiku #56

Follow the candy brick road
To the land of Pez.

Pez Haiku #57

As summer winds down,
I reflect on the season
And all the new Pez.

Pez Haiku #58

The change of seasons:
New weather, new TV shows,
And, I hope, new Pez.

Pez Haiku #59

Can you hear me now?
Good. Now hang up your cell phone
And flip me some Pez.

Pez Haiku #60

An epic meeting
Of collectors: NASCAR is
On Pez dispensers.

Pez Haiku #61

A whole lot of Pez
And little room on the shelf:
Not a good combo.

Pez Haiku #62

O cruel twist of fate,
That Wal-Mart Pez trucks are found
Only at Wal-Mart.

Pez Haiku #63

O Brangelina,
Your charity knows no bounds.
So how 'bout some Pez?

Pez Haiku #64

Like a butterfly,
The prizes at Pez Bingo
Float away from me.

Pez Haiku #65, or A Reflection on the Spring 2006 Laspina Price Guide

Page Seventy-Four:
Eight hundred is the lowest.
I bow before Pez.

Pez Haiku #66

I'm an optimist:
My Pez bingo card's half full,
And not half empty.

Pez Haiku #67

I've lived true horror:
One time I took the last Pez
And had no refills.

Pez Haiku #68

November Seventh:
Throw the bums out of office;
Replace them with Pez.

Pez Haiku #69

Frankenstein never
Scared me. Pez dispensers do.
Because they are fast.

Pez Haiku #70

I like my Pez like
I like my coffee: loaded
With sugary fun.

Pez Haiku #71

Six hundred dollars
For a PS3? No way!
For a Pez, maybe.

Pez Haiku #72

Two thousand seven:
I resolve to lose some weight
And to gain some Pez.

Pez Haiku #73

I hope the weather
Will soon follow the Pez lead
And bring the spring thing.

Pez Haiku #74

Let's fill the potholes
As we fill the dispensers:
With lots of candy.

Pez Haiku #75

Spring is here again:
My allergies come out like
Pez from dispensers.

Pez Haiku #76

April showers bring May
Flowers, but I would rather
They bring on the Pez.

Pez Haiku #77

So many sequels
In the movie theater,
But there's just one Pez.

Pez Haiku #78

Father's Day is here,
And I have just one question:
Who's your Pez daddy?

Pez Haiku #79

Sunny day, sweepin'
The clouds away, on my way
To where the Pez is sweet.

Pez Haiku #80

I sometimes wonder
If white dispensers are fine
After Labor Day.

Pez Haiku #81

My DVR's full,
But regarding my Pez shelf,
There's always more room.

Pez Haiku #82

Giant Vader Pez,
You loom atop my PC,
Standing while you Sith.

Pez Haiku #83

I don't care about
Dancing or singing; give me
Pezzing With The Stars.

Pez Haiku #84

In a complex world,
The simplicity of Pez
Is a welcome treat.

Pez Haiku #85

It's c-c-c-cold;
I think some P-P-P-Pez
Would h-h-h-help.

Pez Haiku #86

Mickey Mouse Pez Tin,
You are a welcome surprise
In this checkout lane.

Pez Haiku #87

Iron Man, Batman
And The Hulk? Forget them:
Pez will save the day.

Pez Haiku #88

I see fireworks
Ev'rytime I come across
New Pez dispensers.

Pez Haiku #89

The weatherman says
That more snow is on the way,
Comin' on like Pez.

Pez Haiku #90

Dear US Congress:
In these tough times, how about
A Pezhead bailout?

Pez Haiku #91

I have a new job
And will be stationed at home,
Alongside my Pez.

Pez Haiku #92

My first time in
The Disney Store was magic:
I got some new Pez.

Pez Haiku #93

Batman with logo
Found mint on card: So much for
That Collector's set.

Pez Haiku #94

My fingers do the
Walking, now that my Pez is
On my iPod Touch.

Pez Haiku #95

There is death, divorce,
And despair in today's news.
Time to pop a Pez.

Pez Haiku #96

I dare you to find
A more Peztastic place than

Pez Haiku #97

There are thirty-five
Calories in a Pez roll.
Perfect diet food.

Pez Haiku #98

Wizard of Oz Pez:
Got the feeling I'm not in
Pezless anymore.

Pez Haiku #99

There's a World Series,
And there is a world of Pez.
Both are grand slams, man.

Pez Haiku #100

Speaking of 3D:
Dispense, Dispense, and Dispense.
Take that, Avatar.

Pez Haiku #101

Winter Olympics:
Watched for two weeks, but sadly
Not one Pez event.

Pez Haiku #102

The iPad is here.
Bigger pictures of my Pez:
Always a good thing.

Pez Haiku número de ciento tres (Pez Haiku #103)

Cinco De Mayo?
Un dispensador de Pez
Es mucho mejor.

Pez Haiku #104

Bye, Ugly Betty.
So long, Lost and 24.
Hi, Pez conventions!

Pez Haiku #105

For a brief moment
I cared about soccer. Then
It was back to Pez.

Pez Haiku #106

Eternal question:
Team Edward or Team Jacob?
My answer: Team Pez.

Pez Haiku #107

As the oil spills,
I realize that Pez spills
Maybe ain't so bad.

Pez Haiku #108

Lebron may be gone,
But at least Cleveland still has

Pez Haiku #109

O sweet DVR,
Much like a Pez dispenser,
You're easy to load.

Pez Haiku #110

Bums were voted out,
And more bums were voted in.
Oh well, time for Pez.

Pez Haiku #111

Beatles on iTunes?
That's great! Call me when they are
On Pez dispensers.

Pez Haiku #112

Once it stops snowing,
I really need to get out
And go Pez hunting.

Pez Haiku #113

Verizon iPhone:
People were so overjoyed,
It was like new Pez

Pez Haiku #114

I've flipped lots of Pez,
But I haven't flipped as much
As Charlie Sheen has.

Pez Haiku #115

Goodbye Michael Scott;
I hope there is lots of Pez
In Colorado.

Pez Haiku #116

"All My Children": done.
But all my Pez dispensers?
Just getting started.

Pez Haiku #117

First a vintage piece.
And now, a brand new release:
It's a Thor subject.

Pez Haiku #118

I can build a house
Out of the Pez candy bricks
That I have consumed.

Pez Haiku #119

Oprah quit her show
So she could spend more time with
Her Pez dispensers.

Pez Haiku #120

Candyroll'd: Never
Gonna give Pez up, never
Gonna let Pez down.

Pez Haiku #121, or, Reflections on Summer Solstice 2011

It's the longest day,
But then again, without Pez,
Ev'ry day is long.

Pez Haiku #122

The Smurfs are alright
In movies, but much better
As Pez dispensers.

Pez Haiku #123

Star Wars on Blu Ray?
It's tempting, but I will pass.
Star Wars Pez? Sure thing.

Pez Haiku #124

So many colors
On the trees and also on
Pez dispenser stems.

Pez Haiku #125

Occupy Wall Street:
Rock on, like dispensers that
Occupy Pez shelves.

Pez Haiku #126

Rudolph with your nose

So bright, won’t you lead me to
Some new Pez tonight?

Pez Haiku #127

The end of the world
Is supposed to be this year:
Better get more Pez.

Pez Haiku #128

The Magic Kingdom
Would be even more magic
If there was more Pez.

Pez Haiku #129

O Pez Police shirt,
You have the right to remain
Totally awesome.

Pez Haiku #130

An open letter
To Pez Visitor's Center:
You rock. Regards, Joe.

Pez Haiku #131

Shuffling through Pez
In a Walmart checkout lane;
Stop staring at me.

Pez Haiku #132

Convention tension:
It's another dimension,
Needs your attention.

Pez Haiku #133

One day I will learn
How to make thirteen Pez fit
In a dispenser.

Pez Haiku #134

Fast and Furious:
That about sums up how I
Go hunting for Pez.

Pez Haiku #135

In Pacific Rim,
Giant monsters and robots.
No Pez? Giant fail.

Pez Haiku #136

Ben Affleck, Batman:
Another variation
For the collection.

Pez Haiku #137

Pez without candy,
Like Gotham without Batman,
Is a scary thing.

Pez Haiku #138

My registration
And hotel reservation
Bring Pez elation.

Pez Haiku #139

I'm afraid of clowns
Unless they're Pez dispensers,
In which case they're cool.

Pez Haiku #140

The new year will bring
New Avengers, new Star Wars,
And of course new Pez.

Pez Haiku #141

A Pez dispenser,
Like a heart, should be opened,
Filled with love, and shared.

Pez Haiku #142

Social distancing:
It's good for us, not so much
For our Pez displays.

Pez Haiku #143

IKEA Billy!
When I behold your splendor,
I'm beside my shelf.

Pez Haiku #144

O Golden Spongebob,
I've lost track of the Krogers
Where I've searched for you.

Pez Haiku #145

Burgers that are grilled,
Much like Pez that are displayed,
Sizzle fo' shizzle.

Pez Haiku #146

Empty baseball stands,
Like empty Pez dispensers,
Will be filled someday.

Pez Haiku #147

O wicked Pez room!
I race to your finish line,
But it's never there.

Pez Haiku #148

Monster on the porch!
Oh wait, it's just another
Pez delivery.

Pez Haiku #149

A Pez dispenser
As a Thanksgiving Day float
Would make me grateful

Pez Haiku #150

A new calendar,
Like a new Pez dispenser,
Gives me hope and joy.

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