have you. I
keep trying to tell people, Those are my wings, not a collar.
They usually just shoot me an odd look and go back to tweeting
on their iPhones or whatever. I almost want to bite them to get
their attention, but that sort of defeats the purpose of winning
them over with my Pez-given charm.
Batten down the hatches, because Bat Pez is in the house.
(Mouse over the image to see Bat Pez's glow-in-the-dark
Monthly: Bat Pez, thanks very much for
joining us. You are the newest addition to the ever-expanding
Halloween family of Pez dispensers, many of whom have
also been interviewed by this publication. How does it
feel to be a part of such regal yet spooky history?
Pez: It is a frightfully good feeling,
I gotta say. As the only new Halloween dispenser this
year, all eyes are on me. I just hope I can deliver. I
mean, bats have a somewhat nasty reputation, what with
the biting and the screeching and the turning into vampires.
But now that I am a Pez dispenser, I finally have the
chance to set things right for batkind, and to earn the
trust and love of kids of all ages.
That is very true. What sort of challenges stand in the
way of achieving this goal?
Well, for one, I am smiling, but if you look at me the
wrong way, it looks like I am out for your blood. I can
only say, from the heart, that I will not suck your blood.
You're just going to have to trust me on this one. For
another, I've also been accused of being some snooty patootie,
with my high collar and what
I see your quandary, Bat Pez. What has the reaction to your
arrival been like among your fellow Pez dispensers?
For the most part it's been great. The other Halloween Pez have
welcomed me with open arms, or at least I imagine they would
if they had arms. Black Cat Pez in particular has been cool.
He was the new kid on the shelf just a few years back, so he
knows what the deal is. And Mummy Pez sure is a jokester. He
keeps asking me if I want to perform a wrap song with him. I
swear, that never gets old.
And as for the non-Halloween dispensers?
They've mostly been okay, but there are a few exceptions. For
example, I don't mean any offense, but every once in a while
Batman Pez thanks me for giving him the inspiration to strike
fear in criminals everywhere. He tells me that because of my
distinct image, he owns the night, and he waits in the shadows
to strike. Then he distracts me with something in the distance,
and when I turn back to face him, he is gone, back to his spot
in the Pez display. I know he's a good guy but every now and
then he really creeps me out.
I'm a big Batman Pez fan, but regardless that is somewhat disturbing
and very likely to haunt my dreams tonight. Finally, Bat Pez,
in the absence of a proper closing to this interview, if you
had the chance to rewrite the title to any popular song, what
would it be?
Well, it would have to be a toss-up between Bat's The
Way (uh huh uh huh) I Like It and Fangs for the
Memories. But when you've got classics like Wind
Beneath My Wings and Once Bitten Twice Shy,
all I have to say is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And that
goes for Pez dispensers, too.
| Archive | About
| Contact | Store
© 2001-2013 JoePez
"Pezhead Monthly" is in no way affiliated with Pez
PEZ is a registered trademark of PEZ Candy Company Inc., Orange,
Pez, but please do so responsibly.