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Pezhead Monthly
June 2004

Cover and Table of Contents | Page 2 | Page 3

Spring Loaded: A Message from the Editor top of page | cover page

It's always a little tough to put together an issue of Pezhead Monthly the month after a Pez Poetry Slam. After all, the 2004 Pez Poetry Slam was the largest, most diverse one yet. Thanks to the several contributors and the variety of poetry, it was a big success.

Still, this month's issue is a noble effort at keeping the Pez love light burning bright. For instance, our feature story contains an historic meeting between Fantasy SpongeBob Pez and Official SpongeBob Pez, to see if the persistent, unspoken tension between fantasy and official Pez dispensers can ever be resolved. Also in this issue is the Five Questions feature, this month with the red-hot Blue-Stemmed Spidey Pez. Lastly, there is some good old-fashioned Pez Poetry and the month's Pez Almost-Quote.

This has been an exciting month, and with Pezamania 14 coming up in July, it looks like the hits will just keep on coming. Take care and see you next month!

Joe Durrant
Editor, Pezhead Monthly



SpongeBob Pez: When Fantasy Meets Reality top of page | cover page

Official SpongeBob
Pez keeps it real.

The January 2003 issue of Pezhead Monthly featured an interview with the SpongeBob SquarePants Fantasy Pez dispenser. (For those who aren't familiar with the term, "Fantasy Pez" refers to dispensers made by individuals rather than those officially made by Pez, Inc. A famous example is Elvis Pez.) Back then, none of us could have known that an official SpongeBob set would eventually be released by Pez, including two versions of SpongeBob, his friend Patrick, and his neighbor Squidward.

A year and a half later, Pezhead Monthly has decided to bring together Fantasy SpongeBob Pez and Official SpongeBob Pez, in an attempt to bridge the ever-present rift between fantasy dispensers and those officially created by Pez, Inc. As you will see, although the session started out on a bit of a rocky note, by the time all was said and done the two shared more common ground than they ever thought possible.

Pezhead Monthly: Thank you both for agreeing to meet today, even if you are sitting at opposite sides of the table and you both seem to have scowls on your

faces. I realize that fantasy and official Pez dispsensers have not always seen eye to eye, but-

Official SpongeBob Pez: Excuse me? When have we ever seen "eye to eye"? My very appearance here with this paltry excuse for a Pez will bring endless ridicule from all the other Pez I hang out with. I only agreed to show up because you promised we'd go jellyfishing. I love jellyfishing! But it's clear that you intentionally deceived me. How dare you.

Fantasy SpongeBob Pez: Do you think I'm thrilled to be here, for that matter? The last time I was here I was treated very well, but it appears that is now history. Now I am being assaulted by someone who thinks I am just an artificial substitute for the real Pez thing. Why should I have to put up with that kind of slander?

OSP: Truth hurts, don't it SpongeBob PhonyPants?

(Heated, unprintable crosstalk)

PM: Whoah... easy now, gentlemen. Or gentle Pez, what have you. Can we try to remain civil here? Why don't we focus on what you have in common, rather than on your differences?

OSP: I'm sorry, but I don't see how that's possible. I come from the official Pez factory, I am packaged in an official Pez package, I get loaded onto an official truck, and I get stocked on a rack at an official store, where someone walks by and, hopefully, officially buys me. It's all official, man, it's all the real deal. You definitely can't say that about my so-called colleague here.

FSP: And that's what it all boils down to, doesn't it? Being official, being a certified product of the Pez corporation? I'll tell you what, you can keep your officialness, because I don't want any part of it. I have been put together by someone who has personally expressed their fondness for Pez. A machine did not spit me out, but rather a human hand spent several hours crafting me. Am I perfect? Of course not. But I can at least hold my head up with the knowledge that I am a Pez of the People, that there will never be another like me. Can you say that about yourself, Official Boy, or do you need to approve it with The Powers That Be first?

(Awkward silence)

PM: Okay, now we are getting somewhere. While it's clear that you aren't big fans of each other, at least you are both confident and proud of who you are. Can you at least find common ground there?

Fantasy SpongeBob Pez needs love too.

OSP: Look, I try to be an understanding guy, despite my earlier outburst. It's just that I don't think most fantasy Pez live the ideal life that Fantasy SpongeBob Pez suggests they do. I think a lot of fantasy Pez dispensers are just thrown together rather quickly. I also think that a lot of people who make fantasy Pez do it just to earn a quick buck and to hoodwink unsuspecting customers. I don't think these people always understand how much they tarnish the Pez reputation, or they just don't care.

FSP: You've got a point there, definitely. But I've had some interesting conversations with other Fantasy Pez, such as Fantasy Scooby Doo Pez, Fantasy Eric Cartman Pez, and Fantasy Richard Simmons Pez. They all agree that if it wasn't for the creativity and innovation of independent hobbyists, they might never have been created. Pez can only produce so many official dispensers, plus they don't make dispensers based on real people. Why should we have to wait for something that might never happen on its own?

OSP: That's true. Look, I'm sorry I called you a "paltry excuse for a Pez." I can see now that you really do know what being a member of the Pez family means. Even if you did not come out of the factory, you're okay with me.

FSP: I accept your apology, and I am honored to be in the same Pez family as you. And I'm sorry I called you a lame, uptight poopiehead.

OSP: You never called me that.

FSP: Oh... nevermind then.

PM: This is so heartwarming, to see two dispensers who were once so angry with each other come this far. It certainly sounds like you have more in common than you once thought.

FSP: You're darn right! We're both Pez and we both love being Pez, and in the end that's all that matters.

OSP: I think a song is in order.

FSP: Totally!

PM: By all means, take it away...

Genuine and Fantasy
To the tune of "Ebony and Ivory"
Copyright 2004 JoePez Publications

Genuine and fantasy stand together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my wooden Pez stand, oh man, why don't we?

We all know dispensers are the same wherever we go
There are stems and springs on every one
We load a pack, we tilt them back
And then they soon dispense us a treat, oh that is so neat

Genuine and fantasy stand together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my wooden Pez stand, oh man, why don't we?

Genuine, fantasy, standing in perfect harmony
Genuine, fantasy, ooh

We all know that sometimes homemade Pez quality is low
There are good and bad, well-done and cheap,
But just because some have their flaws
And come from last week's Happy Meal, don't make them less real.

Genuine and fantasy stand together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my wooden Pez stand, oh man, why don't we?

Side by side on my wooden Pez stand, oh man, why don't we?

Genuine, fantasy, standing in perfect harmony
Genuine, fantasy, standing in perfect harmony
Genuine, fantasy, standing in perfect harmony

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