2010 Pez Poetry Slam (continued) top of page | cover page

Chuck E. Cheese Pez

I heard the news, I was so pleased:
Brand new Pez at Chuck E. Cheese!
The mouse of pizza and of tokens,
Now the mouse of Pez, no jokin'!

I picked the phone up, started dialing,
Hoping that I'd soon be smiling.

But when I called, I often heard
"What's a Pez? Is that a word?"
My outlook soon began to worsen,
So I planned to go in person.

Seat in the car, pedal to the ground,
Come on Chuck, don't let me down!

In line I stood for what I needed,
The teenage bouncer looked defeated.
I finally got up to that rope,
With eyes so wide and full of hope.

I know your job can be quite crappy,
But can you make this Pezhead happy?

I showed a picture for detail:
"Do you have this thing for sale?"
"I don't think so," he declared,
"Check with that guy over there."

Without a child at my side,
I shuffled in with little pride.

Come on Billy, hurry up,
Choose the spider or the cup.
60 tickets, it's not science!
I almost shouted in defiance.

Okay, prize guy, it's my turn,
Do you have what I have earned?

The answer, a regretful no,
Sent me back out on the road.
This scene repeated once or twice,
It wasn't what I would call nice.

Denied so often, feeling peeved,
I had just one trick up my sleeve.

Hello eBay, my old friend,
I've come to browse on you again.
Chuck E. Cheese Pez, Buy It Now?
Here in 2 weeks? Holy cow!

I paid a little more, it's true,
But Chuck E. Cheese Pez, I've got you.

Pez Haiku #107

As the oil spills,
I realize that Pez spills
Maybe ain't so bad.

Buy It Now Or Place A Bid

Buy it now, don't place a bid,
Trust me, you'll be glad you did.
Make that Pez yours right away,
No disappointment, no delay.
Avoid a nasty bidding war,
That hits a price you can't afford.
Play it safe, and rest assured,
That new Pez soon will be all yours.

Place a bid, don't buy it now
You won't regret it, this I vow.
Buy It Now is overrated,
The price is often quite inflated.
Do you want to get a deal?
Perhaps a final second steal?
Know your limits, but be brave,
And dare to ride the Pez bid wave.

It doesn't matter if your score
Comes instantly or from a war,
Whether it's from one swift click
Or from that bid as seconds ticked.
As long as new Pez comes your way,
You're guaranteed a winning day.
So buy it now or place a bid,
Whatever feeds your inner kid.

A Poem Lovely As A Pez

I think that I shall not witness
A poem lovely as a Pez.

A Pez that I find mint on card
After I search long and hard;

A Pez that I can load with treats,
And pop them out for all to eat;

A Pez that stands just inches tall,
But towers over one and all;

Whose worth can never be conveyed
When it is part of my display.

Poems shine a light, oh yes,
But nothing can outshine a Pez.

Battle Lines

Battle lines are being drawn
Ev'ry single day.
It's not just Pepsi versus Coke,
It is a wide array.

Apple versus Microsoft,
What's the best computer?
Taylor Lautner or R-Patts,
Which movie star is cuter?

Does XBox best the PS3
In the console wars?
Does Jerseylicious take the cake,
Or is it Jersey Shore?

Is Leno TV's late night king,
Or are you on Team Coco?
Is Sarah Palin heaven sent,
Or is she simply loco?

There always will be battle lines
And armies of debaters.
But everyone loves Pez, at least,
Unless you are a hater.

Pez Tanka #1

My Pez collection
Has grown from a single shelf
To a complete wall.
In another sixteen years,
It will need its own zip code.

For Pezamania

P acking luggage and composing lists,
E stimating how much cash to bring.
Z oning out in meetings that persist,
A sking for some time off for "Pezzing."
M aking sure directions are okay,
A nticipating ev'ry single thing.
N ever asking, "shall we go or stay?"
I t's just a given that we roll that way.
A way we go! To Cleveland this fine day!

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