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24 Days of Pezamania

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Dr. Pez Presents: Preparing for Pezamania

Hello again, dear readers. With the big Pezamania convention happening this month, I thought I'd address some recent mail I have been getting. The following two letters represent two opposite ends of the spectrum; on the one hand, we have someone who is ready to go to his first Pez convention ever. On the other hand is someone who's already been to the Pez convention and is worried that she has in fact seen all there is to see. And yet they are tied together by their common bond of needing some Pez help. So without further ado, let the healing begin.


Dear Dr. Pez,

 
I am really getting excited about Pezamania 16. I mean, I'm freaking out over here. This will be my first ever Pez convention and I can't wait to go!

Here is the problem- it is still over a month away!! How am I supposed to conduct myself on a daily basis when this magical weekend is so far out of reach? And do you have any advice for me once I get there?

Help me! Help me!!

Sincerely,
Lloyd from Lexington


Dear Lloyd,

Whoah, settle down there, fella. Take a deep breath, do a couple of laps, and then drop and give me 20.

No, just kidding. First off, it is perfectly natural to be this excited and anxious before your first Pez convention. I mean, you are about to see more Pez in a matter of hours than you've likely seen in your entire life. That is a lot for one person to take. To prepare yourself, I recommend doing a Google image search for "Pez collection." You will likely come across many photos of vintage Pez all lined up for your viewing pleasure. Now image all that, only right in front of you. It's like, holy cow, dude, if I may borrow a phrase from the kids.

Oh, and bring money. And your ATM card. And, if it has a PIN number, maybe your credit card too. But before you visit anybody else, be sure to pay a visit to Mr. Laspina to get the best Pez price guide out there. Then, go nuts. And have fun!

And remember, friend, you are not alone. You can read all about this experience in my new book, "Attention! Apprehension and Tension Before The Pez Convention." The price? I won't mention, as it may bring about hypertension. Sorry about that, it's just that I have student loans like you wouldn't believe.


Dear Dr. Pez,

I'm sure you get lots of weirdos writing to you with their Pez problems, but I have a problem that may not sound all that traumatic. See, I have already been to three Pez conventions. The first time I was blown away, so much so that I accidentally spent my son's entire college fund. The second time, I had a better understanding of how these things work, but I still had to hitchhike home because I spent all my gas money on a die-cast Mickey Mouse. But by the third time, I was a well-oiled machine. I knew all the dealers, I knew what I wanted to buy, I had enough money, and I made some new friends and partied like it was 1999.

My problem is, where do I go from here??? I've still got Pez in my bones, I still need my fix, but have I seen and done it all? Have I built up immunity to the fever brought about by Pez conventions? Should I even bother going back?

Sincerely,
Rhonda from Rhode Island


Dear Rhonda,

I can understand your problem, and it is more common than you may think. I mean, who doesn't want to go back to a Pez convention after their first time? And again and again, even? But sooner or later, you may reach a point where you really feel like you've seen it all, and there's nothing more that could possibly tempt you if you were to return.

But oh, how wrong you would be to believe that! For one, surely you don't have all the Pez vintage pieces available. And where else can you go where you know you will see rows and rows of Pez dispensers, for prices that you know are fair? Certainly not your typical flea market or antique mall, where- if you're very lucky- you might find a neat dispenser that's also reasonably priced. Just think, every time you attend another Pez convention, your collection is guaranteed to grow with some great stuff!

That alone should be inspiration to go back year after year, but there's also the connections you build with the people. It gives you a chance to meet up with them again, see how they're doing, and see what neat finds they've gotten this year. It is fun for one and all.

Plus, there's always at least one thing each year that is new and unique. Like one year, when someone had a custom-made neon Pez sign. Trippy, man. Real trippy. (To borrow another term from the kids, of course.)

So hop back in that car and make the drive to Cleveland again, Rhonda. You won't regret it for an instant.


I wish all of you well, as we are now knee deep in the Pez convention season. With St. Louis already in the books, Cleveland right round the corner, and Minnesota soon after that, it is nonstop action for Pezheads everywhere. So put your fears and worries aside, because anytime you're able to get to a Pez convention is a time that you will remember forever.

To Pezamania… and beyond!

Pez Always Heals,

 

 

This feature originally appeared in the July 2006 issue of Pezhead Monthly.

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