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On this single page,
You'll find all the Pez haikus
From Pezhead Monthly.

Pez Haiku #1

I tilt my head back
And give my insides to you.
I, Pez dispenser.

Pez Haiku #2

A Pez dispenser:
So like a newborn puppy,
Only housebroken.

Pez Haiku #3

Some Pezheads prefer
"Mint on card," but it's my choice
To pop that blister.

Pez Haiku #3, Revisited

Though some may keep them
"Mint on card," if you love Pez,
Free, free, set them free.

Pez Haiku #4

You'd better not pout,
Cry, or shout; I'm telling you why:
If you do, no Pez.

Pez Haiku #5

If I were a Pez,
The first thing I think I'd do
Would be to get loaded.

Pez Haiku #6

I wonder if Pez
Talk of us when left alone,
Or if they're speechless.

Pez Haiku #7

I want to run with
The wild horses, as long as they
Lead me to some Pez.

Pez Haiku #8

Sleep soundly, little
One. Tomorrow we head for
The Pez convention.

Pez Haiku #9

What if we were the
Dispensers, and the Pez were
Collectors? Trippy.

Pez Haiku #10

The package says "assorted,"
But the grape and orange flavors
Are sadly missing.

Pez Haiku #11

In life, as in Pez
Dispensers, never forget
The value of a refill.

Pez Haiku #12

Summer arrives this
Month, bringing hot weather
And cool Pez for all.

Pez Haiku #13

Fifty years of Pez,
And yet everyday is
A new beginning.

Pez Haiku #14

Take me out to the
Ballgame, provided there is
A Pez giveaway.

Pez Haiku #15

I thought it was a
Current, but alas! The stem
Proclaimed "3.9."

Pez Haiku #16

Trick or Treat, smell my
Feet, give me something good to
Eat. Pez will suffice.

Pez Haiku #17

O Dream Dispenser,
I lost you when I received
The outbid notice.

Pez Haiku #18

Dashing through the snow
Makes it rather hard to load
A Pez dispenser.

Pez Haiku #19

When the New Years ball
Dropped, my fear was that some Pez
Was trapped beneath it.

Pez Haiku #20

If a diamond is
Forever, then a Pez is
Not too far behind.

Pez Haiku #21

She loves Pez, she loves
Pez not. She loves Pez, she loves
Pez not… She loves Pez!

Pez Haiku #22

Colorful Pez shelf,
Like a river do you wash
Away the dullness.

Pez Haiku #23

If Pez dispenses
In the woods and no one hears,
Then does it dispense?

Pez Haiku #24
By Min Tonkard

Little plastic things
That drive me out of my mind,
All through my new house.

Pez Haiku #25

I love you, puppy,
But if you get near my Pez,
Kiss your treats goodbye.

Pez Haiku #26

Retro Pez tin sign
With the cool Pez Astronaut,
Fly me to the moon.

Pez Haiku #27

O Canada, why
Must you taunt me with Euro
Pez for ten bucks each?

Pez Haiku #28

If you only have
Two days to live, spend them at
A Pez convention.

Pez Haiku #29

Go to school, young one.
School will lead to a job, and
Money for more Pez.

Pez Haiku #30

Though temperatures
May drop in these autumn months,
Pez is on the rise.

Pez Haiku #31

What could be better
Than all the Pez in the world?
Finding just one more.

Pez Haiku #32

O little candy,
How do you manage to bring
Such big joy to me?

Pez Haiku #33

It's a brand new year,
But I am proud to report
It's the same ol' Pez.

Pez Haiku #34

I gave you my heart,
So please don't go breaking it
By selling my Pez.

Pez Haiku #35

On St. Patrick's Day,
Ev'ryone's a bit Irish.
Me? I rish for Pez.

Pez Haiku #36

Do April showers
Bring May flowers? I hope they
At least bring some Pez.

Pez Haiku #37

It was ten years back
When Pez came into my life.
It hasn't left since.

Pez Haiku #38

When it hears that Pez
Is licensing more and more,
My bank account weeps.

Pez Haiku #39
By Min Tonkard

As I eat popcorn
He asks me for a Pez poem,
And so here it is.

Pez Haiku #40

The dog is barking
While I am deep in Pez thought.
Put him outside, please.

Pez Haiku #41

You've reached the number
Of a devoted Pezhead.
Please leave a message.

Pez Haiku #42

Whenever you load
A Pez dispenser, you know
You're in for a treat.

Pez Haiku #43

The first few days back
From the big Pez convention:
Waking from a dream.

Pez Haiku #44

Thank you, Hungary,
For taking the time to make
My Boba Fett Pez.

Pez Haiku #45

When a Pumpkin Pez
Is emptied, it is truly
A Pez Hollowing.

Pez Haiku #46

I have one Pez left,
And yet there are two of us.
Let's cut it in half.

Pez Haiku #47

Let's keep the tree up
One more week, for the sake of
The Pez ornaments.

Pez Haiku #48

O Pez dispensers,
You make my work cubicle
A true oasis.

Pez Haiku #49

March comes in like a
Lion, goes out like a lamb.
Two great dispensers.

Pez Haiku #50

The new Star Wars Pez
Have at last arrived in store.
The Pez force is with us.

Pez Haiku #51

Reorganizing?
I am reimagining
My Pez dispensers.

Pez Haiku #52

Gas prices are high,
And soon Pez prices will be, too.
Curse these wretched times.

Pez Haiku #53

Did you hear the one
About the furious Pez?
Man, he really flipped.

Pez Haiku #54

Popcorn needs butter
Much like Pez dispensers need
Tasty Pez candy.

Pez Haiku #55

I'll suffer mullets
And overwhelming incense
For flea market Pez.

Pez Haiku #56

Pezamania:
Follow the candy brick road
To the land of Pez.

Pez Haiku #57

As summer winds down,
I reflect on the season
And all the new Pez.

Pez Haiku #58

The change of seasons:
New weather, new TV shows,
And, I hope, new Pez.

Pez Haiku #59

Can you hear me now?
Good. Now hang up your cell phone
And flip me some Pez.

Pez Haiku #60

An epic meeting
Of collectors: NASCAR is
On Pez dispensers.

Pez Haiku #61

A whole lot of Pez
And little room on the shelf:
Not a good combo.

Pez Haiku #62

O cruel twist of fate,
That Wal-Mart Pez trucks are found
Only at Wal-Mart.

Pez Haiku #63

O Brangelina,
Your charity knows no bounds.
So how 'bout some Pez?

Pez Haiku #64

Like a butterfly,
The prizes at Pez Bingo
Float away from me.

Pez Haiku #65, or A Reflection on the Spring 2006 Laspina Price Guide

Page Seventy-Four:
Eight hundred is the lowest.
I bow before Pez.

Pez Haiku #66

I'm an optimist:
My Pez bingo card's half full,
And not half empty.

Pez Haiku #67

I've lived true horror:
One time I took the last Pez
And had no refills.

Pez Haiku #68

November Seventh:
Throw the bums out of office;
Replace them with Pez.

Pez Haiku #69

Frankenstein never
Scared me. Pez dispensers do.
Because they are fast.

Pez Haiku #70

I like my Pez like
I like my coffee: loaded
With sugary fun.

Pez Haiku #71

Six hundred dollars
For a PS3? No way!
For a Pez, maybe.

Pez Haiku #72

Two thousand seven:
I resolve to lose some weight
And to gain some Pez.

Pez Haiku #73

I hope the weather
Will soon follow the Pez lead
And bring the spring thing.

Pez Haiku #74

Let's fill the potholes
As we fill the dispensers:
With lots of candy.

Pez Haiku #75

Spring is here again:
My allergies come out like
Pez from dispensers.

Pez Haiku #76

April showers bring May
Flowers, but I would rather
They bring on the Pez.

Pez Haiku #77

So many sequels
In the movie theater,
But there's just one Pez.

Pez Haiku #78

Father's Day is here,
And I have just one question:
Who's your Pez daddy?

Pez Haiku #79

Sunny day, sweepin'
The clouds away, on my way
To where the Pez is sweet.

Pez Haiku #80

I sometimes wonder
If white dispensers are fine
After Labor Day.

Pez Haiku #81

My DVR's full,
But regarding my Pez shelf,
There's always more room.

Pez Haiku #82

Giant Vader Pez,
You loom atop my PC,
Standing while you Sith.

Pez Haiku #83

I don't care about
Dancing or singing; give me
Pezzing With The Stars.

Pez Haiku #84

In a complex world,
The simplicity of Pez
Is a welcome treat.

Pez Haiku #85

It's c-c-c-cold;
I think some P-P-P-Pez
Would h-h-h-help.

Pez Haiku #86

Mickey Mouse Pez Tin,
You are a welcome surprise
In this checkout lane.

Pez Haiku #87

Iron Man, Batman
And The Hulk? Forget them:
Pez will save the day.

Pez Haiku #88

I see fireworks
Ev'rytime I come across
New Pez dispensers.