Wal-Mart
Smiley Face Pez turns that frown upside down. |
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Pezhead
Monthly: Wal-Mart Smiley Face Pez, one
cannot help but notice your unusually bright countenance.
Are you masking deeper unhappiness, or is the image you
project a genuine representation of your true feelings?
Wal-Mart
Smiley Face Pez: No, man, what you see
is what you get. I'm all about the Pez love. I consider
myself the eternal optimist. The Pez dispenser isn't half
empty, brother, it's half full. You know what I'm saying?
PM:
I think I catch your drift. You present yourself as a
carefree Pez, indicative of the "Have a Nice Day"
smiley faces that so dominated U.S. culture in the 70s.
Any thoughts on why it took until 2001 for you to be released
to the general public?
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WSFP:
You know, I've often sat on my shelf staring out into the starry
night asking that same question myself. I've come to the realization
that it doesn't matter where I'm from, as long as I'm here today.
I guess it was just blind luck that the Wal-Mart mascot happens
to also be a smiling face; otherwise I might not be standing
here right now. I know this much: Sam Walton is one righteous
dude.
PM:
You bring up an interesting point. As a representative of the
Wal-Mart brand, what are your thoughts on the recent bankruptcy
declaration by K-Mart?
Wal-Mart
Smiley Face Pez: "The Pez dispenser
isn't half empty, brother, it's half full."
WSFP: Dude, I cannot help but smile. Not because
I'm happy that K-Mart is going under, but literally, I cannot
help but smile. It's just the way I am and I can't change that.
And you know what? I wouldn't want to. It would be a total bummer
to be cursed with an eternal frown, like Charlie Brown Pez for
example.
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PM:
I couldn't agree more. Wal-Mart Smiley Face Pez, do you
ever have the nagging suspicion that some poor Venezuelan
child created you in a sweatshop?
WSFP:
Now that you mention it, I did have that feeling at first.
I heard the stories and those awful accusations hurled
at fellow Wal-Mart bud Kathie Lee Gifford, who by the
way is a total babe. Then I saw my face on a variety of
other colored stems and that really freaked me out. But
that feeling has since passed, and now I recognize that
each dispenser is unique, even the ones that happen to
share the same head design.
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Wal-Mart
Smiley Face Pez no longer agonizes over seeing its face
on a variety of other dispensers. |
PM:
What an uplifting perspective you have. Wal-Mart Smiley Face
Pez, is there anything in this world that depresses, bothers,
or worries you?
WSFP:
Due to my light frame, I'd have to say earthquakes, slamming
doors, sudden gusts of wind, and uneven surfaces. But as long
as my fellow Pez dispensers are there for me, it's all good,
brother.
