release of "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones,"
as well as three Star Wars Pez dispensers in May 2002, Pezhead
Monthly is extremely honored to present this exclusive interview
with the R2D2 Pez dispenser, with special guest translator C3P0
The R2D2 Pez dispenser bleeps like a true
Monthly: R2D2 Pez, you are one of the three
new Star Wars Pez dispensers released this year, along with
Jango Fett Pez and Clone Trooper Pez. What are your thoughts
on joining the already nine other Star Wars Pez dispensers
Beep blip blip beep whirr beep beep.
He says that he is honored to join the illustrious Star
Wars Pez family, even if it means sharing shelf space
with Ewok Pez and Chewbacca Pez. Between the two of them,
there's hardly enough flea control medication to go around.
I guess I can understand that. R2D2 Pez, you are one of
those rare dispensers whose full body is on the head of
the dispenser. Does being part of this elite group of
dispensers put undue pressure on you, or are you handling
it relatively well?
Pez: Bleep blip beep beep whirrrrrr blip bleep
Pez: R2 says he knows that not every Pez character
gets to appear fully on their own Pez dispenser, and he considers
himself quite fortunate in that respect. However, he takes solace
in the fact that he is not as slimy-looking as Worm Pez, and
he does not need to hide in a shell like Easter Chick Pez.
I suppose you raise a valid point there. R2 Pez, you and
C3P0 Pez have been through a lot together. Does your friendship
extend beyond the realm of the famous movies you star
in, or are you pretty much only on-screen friends?
Pez: Whirrr blip bleep bleep blip blip
Pez: R2 says that he has the greatest respect
for his friend, indeed his mentor, C3P0 Pez. He says that
C3P0's wisdom is unlike any he's seen elsewhere, and his
grace and pleasant personality---
Pez: WHIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRR!!! BLEEP BLIP
BLIP BLEEP BLEEP WHIRRRR BLIP.
Guest translator C3P0 Pez has also lent
his services to interviews with foreign dignitaries, Brazilian
soap opera stars, and Bob Dylan.
Pez: R2, please! Don't make a scene! I may have
taken a few liberties with that translation, but I do believe
I conveyed your main points.
Pez: Bleep bleep blip bleep
Pez: I beg your pardon! I take time out of my
busy schedule of dispensing fruity candy just to bring your
thoughts into the light and this is the thanks I get!
R2D2 Pez:"Bleep blip blip
bleep?"; C3P0 Pez: "How about a Pez?"
I mean droids? Pez droids? Please,
pull yourselves together. We're running out of time and
space here, so I will ask you one more question
Pez: (rudely interrupting) We'll
still get paid for five questions, correct? We signed
a contract, after all. We may be 4-inch tall plastic toys,
but we're not stooges!
Yes, C3P0 Pez, your check is in the mail as we speak.
Finally, R2 Pez, with your strange combination of whistles,
pops, and beeps as a language, do you ever get any flack
from your fellow dispensers, and if so, how do you deal
Pez: Bleep blip blip beep blip whirr.
Pez: He says that for the most part, his Pez
brothers and sisters treat him with respect and dignity. Oh,
sure, every once in a while, some wise guy like Bugs Bunny Pez
says something like "Hey, Doc, I think your microwave popcorn
is done." But when it all comes down to it, they know that
R2 Pez dispenses his candy one brick at a time like everyone
Pez: Blip bleep blip.
Pez: You can say that again, R2!
Pez: Blip bleep blip.
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