nice guy, but
if you steal some of my fellow Pez I am authorized to hunt you
down and bring you in. I just hope it doesn't come to that, because
I am after all made of plastic and I don't think I could put up
much of a fight.
Policeman Pez is charged with the duty
to protect and serve the Pez dispenser community.
Monthly: Policeman Pez, it's great to have
you with us for the first Five Questions of 2004. Just
to clear the air right away, you are not one of the vintage
Policeman Pez Pals from the 1970s, but rather a part of
one of the newest Pez sets out there, the Emergency Hero
set. Do you find yourself constantly having to explain
Pez: At first, yes, it was all I got done.
But my more realistic features, as opposed to the cartoonish
features of the vintage Pez, clearly identify me as a
newer dispenser. No slight intended against the wonderful
vintage Pez, of course.
But of course. On the topic of your more
realistic appearance, Policeman Pez, you do give the impression
of being more serious than other dispensers. Do you worry
that this will clash with the light and cheerful nature
Not at all. I'm really not all that serious,
truth be told. However, I do need to put up a good front
and let people know I mean business. I'm a
It's nice to know you're on our side, Policeman
Pez. Plus, I'd imagine that being released with other Emergency
Heroes has got to be a big morale booster in times of crisis.
Do you find this to be the case?
I certainly do, yes. We all get along pretty
well. When traumatic things happen to our fellow Pez dispensers,
such as a massive, accidental domino-style dispenser collapse,
we are right there on the scene. Everyone plays an important
part, even Construction Worker Pez, whose role in an actual
emergency we have yet to figure out. When it comes to preserving
law and order, Policewoman Pez and I make a great team, along
with K-9 German Shepherd Pez, who we are still trying to train
to roll over. At least he has the "dispense" command
Well, I suppose you have to start somewhere.
Out of curiosity, is there ever any conflict between the Emergency
Hero Pez and the Superhero Pez?
No, we get along pretty well. There are some
differences, sure. For example, if I were to encounter a criminal,
I would cuff him and read him his rights. This would never happen
with Hulk Pez, who would probably growl incoherently and then
throw him across the room. But at the end of the day, we're
on the same side and, yes, we're both part of the same timeless
tradition of Pez.
Quite fascinating, Policeman Pez. Thanks again
for joining us this month. Lastly, do you have any dirt to dish
on any of your fellow Emergency Heroes?
Being a Pez dispenser, I have a deep and profound
admiration for all things Pez, with the possible exception of
Pez Popcorn, because that's just plain weird. That being said,
some members of the Emergency Hero set do have their quirks.
For instance, Diver Pez, bless his heart, is always so melodramatic.
Every time something comes up, he always panics and jumps into
the water. He never remembers that Pez dispensers are notoriously
bad swimmers. But he's not so bad. When he uses that breathing
apparatus he sometimes sounds like Darth Vader Pez, and we all
get a big kick out of that.
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