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Five Questions for Darth Maul Pez

Editor’s Note: This interview contains spoilers about the fates of Darth Maul and other characters from the Star Wars movies.

Darth Maul Pez
Darth Maul Pez is a cut above the rest.


Pezhead Monthly: Darth Maul Pez, thanks very much for joining us. You are actually the fourth Star Wars Pez dispenser to be interviewed by this publication, which is fitting as Darth Maul was featured in the fourth Star Wars movie. Well, actually, it was the first movie Star Wars movie sequentially, but it was the fourth movie released in theaters… and, uh, I forgot where I was going with that. Anyway, how does it feel to be a part of the Pez family?

Darth Maul PezIt feels great! I mean, you know, for a Lord of the Sith and what have you. Not quite as good as hunting down Jedi, of course. But I am trying to cool it with the Jedi hunting now that I am a Pez. Now, instead of wielding a wicked cool dual blade lightsaber, I dispense fruity goodness to kids of all ages. I would say that’s a fair trade-off.

PM: That’s a good way of looking at things. I see that you were released with a redesigned Yoda Pez as well. As a veteran of the Pez family, was he more of a benefit or a threat to you?

DMP: Well, despite being mortal enemies under other circumstances, he really is quite cool. He introduced me to all of the other Star Wars dispensers, and assured them that even though I have these freaky yellow eyes, I mean them no harm. That was much appreciated. After a while, it got a little old with him lifting me in the air with The Force, but I just chalked that up to hassling the new guy.

PM:  I suppose that’s all you can do when you’re the new Pez on the block. I have heard that it is smart to judge Yoda Pez not by his size. Now, not to make things uncomfortable, Darth Maul Pez, but things don’t exactly end well for your counterpart in “The Phantom Menace.” You know, getting cut in half by Obi-Wan and all that. Do you worry if or when this same fate may fall upon you, or can you just shrug it off?

DMP:  I’m not going to lie, it’s always there in the back of my head. No thanks to Obi-Wan Pez, who can be a real prankster. One time he left an advertisement for Valentine’s Day Pez in front of me. The catch? It was after Valentine’s Day, so the ad read “Half Off.” Real funny, Kenobi. Har de har. Then another time he dedicated a song to me on the radio, which would normally have been a nice gesture, except that it was “Creep” by Stone Temple Pilots, and it had the line “I’m half the man I used to be.” What a cut-up he is. I… oh wait a minute. “Cut-up”? Now he’s got me doing it!! Make it stop!

PM: I can see that this has taken quite a toll on you. But hopefully you know after all is said and done, he wouldn’t actually cut you in half like he did in the movie?

DMP: I would think so. I mean, he’s a good guy, right? And it’s not like he’d put a fellow Pez dispenser in harm’s way. Although Anakin Pez, if you are reading this, I would still watch your back. Especially if Obi-Wan Pez suggests taking a stroll near any random pools of lava. Kidding! Well, not really.

In the end, I am not really worried about a fellow Pez dispenser finishing me off. However… if it was an excited child who pulls me back too quickly and forcefully to load me up with Pez, accidentally snapping me in two? O, cruel fate! I will admit, that sometimes keeps me up at night.

PM: Well for what it’s worth, I am definitely sorry for any added stress that this interview may have caused you. But to end things on a positive note, Darth Maul Pez, may I just say that you are one of the best designed Pez dispensers in the Star Wars set, and for that matter one of the coolest dispensers in recent memory. What does the future hold in store for you?

DMP:  I’m not really sure, but I’d like to think that the sky’s the limit. After all, I am a Pez dispenser and it does not get much better than that. I just hope that people are able to find me in stores, because even though I’ve got a bit of a dark side, I do enjoy spreading the Pez love. And hey, if you can’t find me at the local drug store, maybe you’ll have more luck at your shopping maul. Ha ha, get it? Shopping “Maul”? Oh man, I am laughing so hard my sides are splitting. And speaking of splitting sides, thanks a lot, Obi-Wan!

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