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Five Questions for Hulk Pez

Pezhead Monthly: Incredible Hulk Pez, what makes you so incredible?

Incredible Hulk Pez: Hulk Pez big and strong, not pushover like Carrot Top in those long distance commercials. Hulk Pez strike fear in hearts of men and stomp out evil wherever it may be. Also, Hulk Pez has impressive stock portfolio.

PM: Truly incredible. Hulk Pez, I'm noticing that, due to the gamma radiation you've absorbed, you are unable to speak in complete sentences. Or am I wrong, and are you just trying to talk like Tarzan?

Hulk Pez
It is difficult to conduct an interview with Incredible Hulk Pez, due to his inability to control his temper and his obvious disdain for photographers.

IHP: Hulk Pez's attorney gets this a lot. Gamma radiation not present in Pez candy. Hulk Pez not want to scare children more than necessary. And Tarzan?! Hulk Pez not see Tarzan on Pez Dispenser!!!! Tarzan swing from trees, but Tarzan not dispense fruity goodness to kids of all ages like Hulk Pez, does he?!?!

PM: (After awkward silence) Well, there's the Tarzan Body Part that attaches to dispensers, but I can see that's a sore point for you, so on to the next question. What's it like for a superhero with unconceivable strength and rage to grace a Pez dispenser?

IHP: Hulk Pez finds experience very humbling. Allows Hulk Pez to focus wrath, if just for few seconds, so Pez candy can be given to good people. However, big head on Hulk Pez leads to high degree of accidental tipping over. Fortunately Hulk Pez strong and mighty, plus has good health insurance plan.

Hulk Pez
Incredible Hulk Pez in simpler times. What went wrong?

PM: Sounds like you've got some stress your life but are dealing with it as best you can. So, Incredible Hulk Pez, just how exactly do you maintain that youthful green appearance?

IHP: Hulk Pez getting distinct impression that interview becoming patronizing. Hulk Pez angry!!! GRRRRRR!!!

PM: Whoa, easy big fella. Settle down, please. You don't have to tear my arms off like you did with that guy from "Rolling Stone." Out of curiosity, have you ever considered taking anger management classes?

IHP: Sorry for outburst. Hulk Pez still reeling from last week's visit to "Jerry Springer Show", when he discovered girlfriend Wonder Woman Pez cheating on him with Batman Pez. Hulk Pez hurt and confused. Pez needs to release She Hulk dispenser pronto! Hulk Pez needs love too.

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