Pezhead Monthly | Five Questions for Dog Magnet Pez

Pezhead Monthly
Five Questions for Dog Magnet Pez

Dog Pez Magnet can brighten up the dreariest of refrigerators.

Pezhead Monthly: Dog Pez Magnet, thanks for joining us. You are an unusual member of the Pez family. What is it like being you?

Dog Pez Magnet: I'll tell you, I live a conflicted life. On the one hand I look like a Pez dispenser- a vintage dispenser, no less- but on the other hand I don't stand up all that well on a shelf. Unlike my three-dimensional counterparts, I tend to fall over if put on a display. So it's kind of like dressing up for the big game but then just sitting on the bench for the whole time.

PM: You make your existence sound rather glum, Dog Pez Magnet. It can't be that bad, can it?

DPM: Oh, definitely not. Most days I wouldn't have it any other way. My Pez brothers and sisters might get to stand all high and mighty on their shelves, but I get one of the best places in the house to hang out: on the fridge. Is your favorite TV show starting? Better get a cold beverage from the fridge. When is Bobby's next softball game? Better check that calendar on the fridge. And where the heck is that coupon for Miracle Whip? Oh, that's right, it's on the fridge. So you see, people can't help but see me several times a day, and each time they are reminded of the wonder and magic of Pez.

PM: Very deep, Dog Pez Magnet, very deep. What do you say to the persistent rumors that you're stuck up?

DPM: Well, I haven't heard those rumors, but I'd have to say that I am a fairly humble and down-to-earth creature. In fact, I think I--- wait… "stuck up"? You're poking fun at me because I'm a magnet, and I stick to metal surfaces, aren't you? Very funny, wise guy.

PM: My apologies, it was too tempting to pass up. Moving on, what words of advice can you offer to aspiring members of the Pez family?

DPM: Three words: diversify, diversify, diversify. The way I see it, my appeal is three-fold. First, of course, I am in the shape of a Pez dispenser- so Pezheads can dig it. But I am also a neat little magnet, so collectors of kitchen kitsch are interested in me too. And lastly, I am in the shape of a dog Pez dispenser. So dog lovers, I've got your number too. I'm telling you, the broader an appeal you can offer, the better off you'll be.

PM: You've been a gentleman and a scholar, Dog Pez Magnet. Finally, in your experience, do the ladies find you attractive? I bet you're a babe magnet.

DPM: Well, thanks for the compliment, but really I'm just like any other… hey, wait a minute, you're doing it again! "Attractive"? "Babe magnet"? Why must you insist on polarizing me with these atrocious magnet puns? I guess I'll never know.

Dog Pez Magnet can hold many things. For example, Pez dispensers.

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Enjoy Pez, but please do so responsibly.