Pez Magnet can brighten up the dreariest of refrigerators.
Monthly: Dog Pez Magnet, thanks for joining
us. You are an unusual member of the Pez family. What is
it like being you?
Pez Magnet: I'll tell you, I live a conflicted
life. On the one hand I look like a Pez dispenser- a vintage
dispenser, no less- but on the other hand I don't stand
up all that well on a shelf. Unlike my three-dimensional
counterparts, I tend to fall over if put on a display. So
it's kind of like dressing up for the big game but then
just sitting on the bench for the whole time.
You make your existence sound rather glum, Dog Pez Magnet.
It can't be that bad, can it?
Oh, definitely not. Most days I wouldn't have it any other
way. My Pez brothers and sisters might get to stand all
high and mighty on their shelves, but I get one of the best
places in the house to hang out: on the fridge. Is your
favorite TV show starting? Better get a cold beverage from
the fridge. When is Bobby's next softball game? Better check
that calendar on the fridge. And where the heck is that
coupon for Miracle Whip? Oh, that's right, it's on the fridge.
So you see, people can't help but see me several times a
day, and each time they are reminded of the wonder and magic
Very deep, Dog Pez Magnet, very deep. What do you say to the persistent
rumors that you're stuck up?
Well, I haven't heard those rumors, but I'd have to say that I
am a fairly humble and down-to-earth creature. In fact, I think
"stuck up"? You're poking fun at me
because I'm a magnet, and I stick to metal surfaces, aren't you?
Very funny, wise guy.
My apologies, it was too tempting to pass up. Moving on, what
words of advice can you offer to aspiring members of the Pez family?
Three words: diversify, diversify, diversify. The way I see
it, my appeal is three-fold. First, of course, I am in the
shape of a Pez dispenser- so Pezheads can dig it. But I am
also a neat little magnet, so collectors of kitchen kitsch
are interested in me too. And lastly, I am in the shape of
a dog Pez dispenser. So dog lovers, I've got your number too.
I'm telling you, the broader an appeal you can offer, the
better off you'll be.
You've been a gentleman and a scholar, Dog Pez Magnet. Finally,
in your experience, do the ladies find you attractive? I
bet you're a babe magnet.
Well, thanks for the compliment, but really I'm just like
hey, wait a minute, you're doing it again!
"Attractive"? "Babe magnet"? Why must
you insist on polarizing me with these atrocious magnet
puns? I guess I'll never know.
Pez Magnet can hold many things. For example, Pez dispensers.
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