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Five Questions for Dinosaur Pez Flashlight

Pezhead Monthly: Dinosaur Pez Flashlight, you tower over normal sized Pez dispensers. Do you ever look out at the multitudes of Pez and wonder what life would be like as one of them?

Dinosaur Pez Flashlight and friends
Dinosaur Pez Flashlight (center),
along with "Mini-Me" (left) and "Mini-Mini-Me" (right).

Dinosaur Pez Flashlight: There are days when I feel like that, sure. One can only take so many annoying questions like "Say, buddy, how's the weather up there?" and "Does your nose bleed at that high an altitude?" and "Why aren't you playing Pez basketball?" But I think it's important to reflect on the positive attributes of being larger than most Pez. I command much respect, yet I am known in many circles as "the gentle giant." Sort of like Robert on "Everybody Loves Raymond." And lest I get too full of myself, there's even bigger Pez out there, like the Pez bank and the new Giant dispensers.

PM: Your resemblance to one of the normal-sized Dinosaur Pez dispensers is uncanny. Have you ever been accused of playing favorites, and if so, how do you respond?

DPF: Well, there's no denying that there's a special place in my heart for the smaller version of myself. I like to call him Mini-Me, but that's just because I'm a big fan of "Austin Powers." We just have more in common than most other Pez. But really, the day I turn my back on a fellow Pez is a day I just don't see happening.

PM: Unlike most other Pez, Dinosaur Pez Flashlight, you have the ability to produce light when you are opened. Do you view this as a blessing or a curse?

DPF: Allow me to shed some light on your question (bursts into an extended period of laughter). It truly is illuminating (giggles) to have such ability. I don't know whose bright idea (snickers) it was to put this light bulb in my throat, but without it I think I'd truly be in the dark (guffaws, then abruptly turns serious). Sorry, I never get tired of those jokes. Seriously, though, it's an honor to be considered such a valuable resource should the electricity suddenly go out or something. I like the fact that I can be used to find stuff, especially if it means finding other Pez.

PM: Plus, I think it's an interesting metaphor. The light you emit is much like the candy that comes out of normal Pez dispensers, in that it represents wonder and possibility, and that it never fails to brighten someone's day. Pretty neat, huh?

Shine on you crazy Dinosaur Pez flashlight
Dinosaur Pez Flashlight sheds some light on the situation.

DPF: Okay, you're getting way over my head here.

PM: Sorry about that. And finally, Dinosaur Pez Flashlight, as the first interviewed Pez of 2002, what are your hopes for this New Year?

DPF: I hope that I'm not used for evil purposes this year, like for burglary or for temporarily blinding someone. I also hope for those new extended power batteries. But mostly, I hope that somewhere, somehow, I can be a beacon to all other Pez (falls over in laughter, then, while on the floor:) Ha ha ha! A beacon to all other Pez! I kill me.


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