Pez, when people think of Pez candy and dispensers, they usually think
of youth, innocence, and fun. And yet you have a nasty reputation as
quite a ruthless and evil villain. How do you compromise your dark
nature with the light and wonder that is Pez Candy?
Darth Pez: I won't
lie to you, it's a daily struggle. Whether I'm telekinetically choking
an insubordinate officer or urging my children to join the Dark Side, I
always have to weigh that with the responsibility of being a Pez
dispenser. Plus, you know, it's hard being the Dark Lord of the Empire
when you're four inches tall and able to dispense fruity candy to kids
of all ages.
mention your children. How are Luke and Leia doing these days?
those little rascals. They're fine. I have to admit it's a little
disappointing that they won't embrace the evil I know they're so
Darth Vader Pez
and his children, Luke Pez and Leia Pez, pose for a rare family photo.
of. I guess that's what happens when you're not involved with your
children from an early age.
those lines of feeling guilty, do you harbor any regrets about turning
your former mentor, Obi Wan Kenobi, into Jedi dust a few years back?
Darth Pez is held in high regard by his
employees, partially because of his charismatic leadership style
and partially because of his tendency to kill those
who question his authority.
defense, I think you've only heard one side of that story. True, he did
train me in the ways of the Force, and true, I pretty much betrayed him
in every possible way, but in his old age he got ornery and unpleasant
to spend time with. One time he secretly taped a sign on my cape saying
"Chrome Dome." It took weeks to get my personal Stormtrooper assistants
to stop laughing at that. Granted, I had them all killed, but the pain
that old man caused me never went away. (Pauses) …
Besides, I don't see Obi Wan Kenobi immortalized on a Pez dispenser, do
taken. Do you ever feel like you're giving up your power when you let
somebody load you with candy and then pass it out for themselves or
others to eat?
I am always in control of my destiny, for they are weak-minded in their
innocence and their need for a sugar fix. It was I who called to them
when they were in the candy aisle or the checkout line. It was I who
used my Jedi powers to tell them, "Give in to your urge for Pez, it is
useless to resist. Join me and we will rule the world together, as
dispenser and collector."
put together an enormous army of trained soldiers, you've struck fear
in people around the universe, and you are one of the coolest Pez
dispensers ever. What lies ahead for you?
going to Disneyworld!
Back to the Five Questions Archive
| Archive | About
| Contact | Store
© 2001-2013 JoePez
"Pezhead Monthly" is in no way affiliated with Pez
PEZ is a registered trademark of PEZ Candy Company Inc., Orange,
Pez, but please do so responsibly.