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Five Questions for Cool School Tool Pez

Crazy Octopus Pez
Quit droolin', fool: It's the Cool School Tool Pez dispenser.

 

Pezhead Monthly: Cool School Tool Pez, thank you very much for joining us. You join the Pez family just in time for the back-to-school season. Does it feel like you're hitting the ground running or what?

Cool Scool Tool Pez: A little bit, yes. They pack you up, throw you in the truck, put you on the shelves, and the next thing you know, kids everywhere are snatching you up before school starts. It hardly gives you enough time to socialize with your fellow Pez brothers and sisters in the store. Still, as I think Clay Aiken would tell you, it is an honor to be such a sought after item.

PM: Indeed it must be, Cool School Tool Pez. The many features that you offer bring to mind another Pezhead Monthly interview subject, the

Jungle Mission Pez dispenser. When you first came out, was there a bit of a rivalry between the two of you?

CSTP: Oh, heck no. While we do share some similarities, such as the multitude of features and the ability to dispense fruity goodness to kids of all ages, we serve quite different purposes. Jungle Mission Pez is the kind of Pez dispenser you'd appreciate having if your airplane crashed in the forest and you were worried about getting lost or were afraid of the dark. I'm the kind of Pez dispenser you'd appreciate having if the teacher calls on you and you don't know the answer off the top of your head.

PM: Ah yes, from what I hear that is a frequent problem at Pezhead University. Would you mind explaining to our astute readers the ways in which you can help out a student in need, besides offering up some Pez candy, of course?

CSTP: Gladly! For starters, I come equipped with a pencil, because sometimes you just have to write stuff down, and also an eraser, because hey, nobody's perfect. But it doesn't stop there! I also come equipped with a notepad and a weekly calendar. You can keep your Palm Pilot and your Outlook Express, buster, I'm all the scheduler you'll ever need. Plus, I've got a ruler, because being a Cool School Tool Pez rules! Lastly, I also can convert temperature and distance, in the event you are going to a non-American country and you need to get all Celsius or metric with that. You top that all off with a radical back pack clip and you're learning in style, buddy.

PM: Wow, I did not realize just how much you can offer up, Cool School Tool Pez. Do you ever worry that, in this always-on, 24/7 world, you are stretching yourself too thin? There's nothing more unfortunate than a multitasking Pez dispenser that is in over its head.

CSTP: Oh, don't worry about me. I've got it all together. I always try to remember that Pez dispensers have always been multitaskers. While they are most famously known for dispensing Pez candies, they also look great on a shelf, and are such unique collectibles that they never fail to spark up some kind of interesting conversation. While I'm more in my element in a classroom than on a shelf, I think the same principle applies.

PM: That's a good way of looking at things. Finally, Cool School Tool Pez, I wanted to ask you about your unique design. It appears that you are decorated with various splotches. Can you please explain what these splotches signify?

CSTP: Well, I can't give you a single answer for that. It's kind of like looking at clouds or those Rorschach ink tests- different people see different things. I have heard all kinds of theories for the splotches, including wet dogs shaking off the water, an amoeba having a good cry, and somebody spilling their Kool-Aid on me. I say as long as they count on me to spruce up their Pez collection or to pass that pesky math test, it's all good.


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