he gets weird about it. There's also some eBay Pez a couple of shelves
over that are in the same predicament. I'll tell you, it wouldn't
bother me so much if my feet weren't so constrained. Every now and
then I get cramps, but I'm a big, brawny football player, so I'm
supposed to be a tough guy and walk it off. But I can't even do
that, because I can't walk!
Colt Pez tackles the tough issues of the day.
Monthly: Giant Indianapolis Colt Pez, thank
you for joining us. First off, a note of congratulations
on your team winning the AFC conference and going to the
Super Bowl for the first time ever. How does it feel to
be a part of such an historic occasion?
Indianapolis Colt Pez: Well, it's been a
roller coaster ride, that's for sure. It seems like just
yesterday that Giant Jacksonville Jaguar Pez kept knocking
me over. I don't know who peed in his cornflakes, but eventually
he left me alone and things got better. And now here we
are at the big game. And as an added bonus, I am also part
of the Pez family. That's a huge honor itself, I must say.
And mad props for that as well. Speaking of which, I cannot
help but notice that you are still in your package. It's
a little disconcerting, I have to admit, since most Pezhead
Monthly interviewees are free of their formerly packaged
lives. So what's up with that?
have to talk to my collector to get the answer to that one.
While he's usually pretty good at setting
his Pez free, every once in a
I can sense your frustration, Giant Indianapolis Colt Pez, but
try to think about your status as a collectible. Not only are
you a Pez, which is something right there, but depending on how
your team does in the big game, your dollar value as a collectible
will surely soar. So you've got that going for you, right?
Well, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but when it comes
to my "dollar value" it's kind of a moot point. I mean,
look at the track record here. While my collector has a sterling
track record of buying Pez, he has a rather woeful record
of selling Pez. Heck, even if Peyton Manning himself signed
my box, he still wouldn't sell me. But, come to think of it
know what? I'm glad he holds on to me, and I wouldn't want to
be sold off anyway. I like it here. There's plenty of fellow Pez
to hang out with. I'm just sayin'.
I catch your drift, man. Moving on to a less stressful subject,
can you tell us a little bit about the long relationship that
Pez has had with sports?
Oh sure. You know, Pez and sports go back almost as long as Ben
Stiller and Owen Wilson. Back in the sixties, Pez came out with
its first football player dispenser, along with the baseball glove.
That's old school, you gotta respect that. Then in the 70s and
80s you had those fantastic Olympic dispensers. And in more recent
times there have been a flurry of Pez dispenser promotions at
all kinds of sporting events, not to mention the new Nascar and
college football sets. No matter how you look at it, the combination
of Pez and sports is a slam dunk. Or a home run, I suppose. I
guess you could also consider it a touchdown. Perhaps a hole-in-one?
Picking up the 7-10 split?
How much longer
do we have? I'm running out of sports metaphors!
Not to fear, Giant Indianapolis Colt Pez. There's only one more
question before the whistle blows on this interview. I'm just
curious, will you be watching the Super Bowl for the game or the
Well of course I'm looking forward to cheering my team on, so
I'll be watching the game. But I'll tell you what, those commercials
are pretty fun too. And how cool would it be if there was a Pez
commercial or two in between plays? They could even work in some
of the patent numbers. Hut one, hut two! 3.9! 2.6! 5.9! Pez,
to the Five Questions Archive
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