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Five Questions for the Winning Pez Bingo Card

Five Questions for The Winning Pez Bingo Card top of page | cover page

X marks the spot for the Winning Pez Bingo Card.


Pezhead Monthly: Thanks for joining us, Winning Pez Bingo Card. From B7 all the way to O63, your greatness is celebrated across the land. How does it feel to be a winner?

Winning Pez Bingo Card: It feels spectacular, thank you for asking. I know that everyday, every hour, and likely every minute, in churches, casinos, and American Legions all over the nation, there are other winning bingo cards. But how many of those are Pez bingo cards? And how many of them are at the biggest gathering of Pezheads in the world? Maybe a dozen or so a year? So when you look at it that way, it's a pretty elite club and quite the privilege to be here.

PM: I think you have a point there. Can you describe your thought process as you started down the road from a blank card to the horizontally completed champion that you are known as today and forever more?

WPBC: Well, you know, when you start off there is always anxiety in the air. You look over at all of your discarded brothers and sisters on the table and in the trash can, some from just mere moments before, and it's not exactly the most inspiring feeling. But you gotta fight through that stuff, you gotta believe. And I'll tell you, when the Free Space in the middle is marked, that's when you really begin to hope and dream.

PM: Well sure, Winning Pez Bingo Card, but it wasn't all peaches and gravy from there, was it?

WPBC: Oh, most certainly not, no. In fact every time a number was called and it wasn't on my card, but clearly on other cards as evidenced by random shouts of joy throughout the room, that was very tense. I can only imagine how agonizing it was for the Pezhead who was marking me up.

PM: You bring up an interesting point. What sort of a bond developed, if at all, between you and the Pezhead who was marking you?

WPBC: You know, it's a funny thing. Everytime he marked me, there was a feeling of dread mixed with hope in the way his pen hit my paper. At first it was mostly dread, but then as that bottom row started to get filled in, there was more and more hope. But, sadly enough, nearly right up until the very end, there was always a little bit of dread. It seemed like he had been trying for years and years and years, and yet he was never able to win at Pez Bingo, no matter how close he came. You think "Terms of Endearment" was sad? That's some real heartbreak right there.

PM: Darn it, Winning Pez Bingo Card. I told myself I wasn't going to cry. To end this interview on an uplifting note, can you describe the moment when success finally struck?

WPBC: I'll tell you, it's a moment I will never forget. I heard the announcer call "I22" and then I heard a sound louder than anything I've heard, not since I was printed by Bazaar and Novelty in Canada. It was my Pezhead, and he was shouting "BINGO!" with his arms straight up in the air. In an instant, he was redeemed after years of agony and frustration. I'm not sure, but I believe the roof opened up and a ray of light shined down on the two of us, and that Hallelujah song started playing. Then he stood up and sprinted to the front of the room. I will always remember the breeze I felt, flapping in that warm convention hall, as he carried me up to get his prize. When he finally got there, you would have thunk he'd reached Mount Everest. As for the prize, it was a groovy Pez Peace Van. Quite appropriate, as he had finally found peace with the game that had cruelly tormented him for years.

The bottom line is this: whether it's horizontally, vertically, diagonally, or somewhere in between, everyone's due for their own win sooner or later. And when it happens, it's spectacular.

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