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Five Questions for Bat Pez

Batten down the hatches, because Bat Pez is in the house. (Mouse over the image to see Bat Pez's glow-in-the-dark stem!)


Pezhead Monthly: Bat Pez, thanks very much for joining us. You are the newest addition to the ever-expanding Halloween family of Pez dispensers, many of whom have also been interviewed by this publication. How does it feel to be a part of such regal yet spooky history?

Bat Pez: It is a frightfully good feeling, I gotta say. As the only new Halloween dispenser this year, all eyes are on me. I just hope I can deliver. I mean, bats have a somewhat nasty reputation, what with the biting and the screeching and the turning into vampires. But now that I am a Pez dispenser, I finally have the chance to set things right for batkind, and to earn the trust and love of kids of all ages.

PM: That is very true. What sort of challenges stand in the way of achieving this goal?

BP: Well, for one, I am smiling, but if you look at me the wrong way, it looks like I am out for your blood. I can only say, from the heart, that I will not suck your blood. You're just going to have to trust me on this one. For another, I've also been accused of being some snooty patootie, with my high collar and what

have you. I keep trying to tell people, “Those are my wings, not a collar.” They usually just shoot me an odd look and go back to tweeting on their iPhones or whatever. I almost want to bite them to get their attention, but that sort of defeats the purpose of winning them over with my Pez-given charm.

PM: I see your quandary, Bat Pez. What has the reaction to your arrival been like among your fellow Pez dispensers?

BP: For the most part it's been great. The other Halloween Pez have welcomed me with open arms, or at least I imagine they would if they had arms. Black Cat Pez in particular has been cool. He was the new kid on the shelf just a few years back, so he knows what the deal is. And Mummy Pez sure is a jokester. He keeps asking me if I want to perform a wrap song with him. I swear, that never gets old.

PM: And as for the non-Halloween dispensers?

BP: They've mostly been okay, but there are a few exceptions. For example, I don't mean any offense, but every once in a while Batman Pez thanks me for giving him the inspiration to strike fear in criminals everywhere. He tells me that because of my distinct image, he owns the night, and he waits in the shadows to strike. Then he distracts me with something in the distance, and when I turn back to face him, he is gone, back to his spot in the Pez display. I know he's a good guy but every now and then he really creeps me out.

PM: I'm a big Batman Pez fan, but regardless that is somewhat disturbing and very likely to haunt my dreams tonight. Finally, Bat Pez, in the absence of a proper closing to this interview, if you had the chance to rewrite the title to any popular song, what would it be?

BP: Well, it would have to be a toss-up between “Bat's The Way (uh huh uh huh) I Like It” and “Fangs for the Memories.” But when you've got classics like “Wind Beneath My Wings” and “Once Bitten Twice Shy,” all I have to say is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And that goes for Pez dispensers, too.

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