Spring Loaded: A Message from the Editor top of page | cover page

Welcome once again to the pages of Pezhead Monthly.

As we look forward to next month's big Pez Poetry Slam, in this issue we look back at some pieces from previous Pez Poetry Slams to get you all Pez Poemed up. We also sit down with the Notre Dame Football Pez Dispenser to discuss tradition, the current woeful football season, and of course Pez. Rounding out this issue is the Pez Almost-Quote and some more Pez Poetry.

Also, note that this month's cover image is an homage to the movie American Gangster, which I will be seeing in the near future. It should be a grand time indeed.

Remember, it's not to late for YOU to submit for the 2007 Pez Poetry Slam. We've already gotten a few great pieces, and there is always room for more. Submissions are due by Friday, November 30. Details can be found here. Submit your Pez poem(s) today!

Take care and see you next month!

Joe Durrant
Editor, Pezhead Monthly
joe@pezheadmonthly.com

Countdown to 2007 Pez Poetry Slam top of page | cover page

Pezhead Monthly will be sending off 2007 in style next month with its sixth annual Pez Poetry Slam. To count down to the big occasion, here is a look back at some poems taken from the previous five Pez Poetry Slams.

(Click here for details on how to submit your Pez poetry to the 2007 Pez Poetry Slam!)

Pez Haiku #9

What if we were the
Dispensers, and the Pez were
Collectors? Trippy.

Discovery

In Fourteen Hundred Ninety-Two,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
This story we are often told,
But has it ever taken hold?
The joy of that discovery,
Of finding something new to see,
Is such a rare and treasured time
Of happiness and luck sublime.
When Chris did land upon these shores,
His life was changed forever more;
He traveled far and traveled wide,
His destination worth the ride.

And then, in Two Thousand and Two,
Columbus was a presence too.
This time, it was a baseball game
That summoned up that famous name.
The Clippers, although minor league,
Had me that day in deep intrigue.
Four hours did I gladly drive,
And oh, what joy when I arrived,
For at the gates that sunny day
Was a most special giveaway:
A Clippers Pez dispenser, whee!
And too, a great discovery.

Once more, in Two Thousand and Three,
Columbus was alive to me,
A picture of Americana:
A Wal-Mart store in Indiana.
I'd heard a certain grand confection
Was found at Wal-Mart's Kids Connection
And so I packed my car with tunes
And hit the road that afternoon,
An hour south on 65,
A simply perfect Sunday drive.
Four crystal Pez, I found with glee,
Another grand discovery.

I Gave My Love a Pez

I gave my love a Pez,
And she just stared at me.
I tried to tell her that it meant
That like Pez she was sweet

She told me that she hated
Those candies shaped like bricks,
And if I were to be her man,
I'd better lose them quick.

I gave my love a Pez,
But that was long ago.
She may be sent from up above,
I guess I'll never know.

The Shape I'm In

Office Pez

Many times I think of Pez
As I pass the day.
A project here, a meeting there,
It's never far away.

Write an e-mail, send a fax,
Type up a report.
With thoughts of Pez, I'll get it done,
My office self-support.

The phone is ringing off the hook,
The copier is busted.
It's times like these I count on Pez
To keep me well-adjusted.

Stopping By Walgreens on a Snowy Evening

Whose drug store this, I think I know,
Upon the street that is called Oak;
Will I find the parking lot
In all this blust'ry wind and snow?

I give the pedal all I've got,
My little Chevy lands a spot.
I head towards the sliding door
And past the sale on flower pots.

I know quite well this grand drug store,
I visit once a week or more,
I come here often, yes, because
I know the Pez I'm looking for.

I reach the aisle of my cause.
But I've no reason for to pause,
And miles to go for Mrs. Claus,
And miles to go for Mrs. Claus.

Apology/Apologia

I'm sorry for the lamp I broke
While playing in the house.
I'm sorry that I spilled my Coke
All over your new blouse.

I'm sorry that I cooked your steak
Until it was quite charred.
I'm sorry that I didn't rake
The leaves in the front yard.

I'm sorry that I didn't stop
To ask for some directions.
I'm sorry that I cursed the cop
Who stopped us for inspections.

I'm sorry that I drove your truck
Straight into Calvin Creek.
I'm sorry 'bout that hockey puck
That landed on your cheek.

I've done a lot of things, I know,
For which I have regret.
But there is also something, though,
That I refuse to sweat.

'Twas when I introduced you to
The joys of Pez collecting
It started slowly, but it grew,
Your life it is affecting.

You go to Wal-Mart ev'ry day,
You live for Pez conventions.
You're deadly when you're on eBay,
You're in a new dimension.

So I'm not sorry for my role
In what you have become,
I won't say sorry, my dear soul,
I'll only say "You're welcome."

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