2006 Pez Poetry Slam (concluded) top of page | cover page

Apology/Apologia

I'm sorry for the lamp I broke
While playing in the house.
I'm sorry that I spilled my Coke
All over your new blouse.

I'm sorry that I cooked your steak
Until it was quite charred.
I'm sorry that I didn't rake
The leaves in the front yard.

I'm sorry that I didn't stop
To ask for some directions.
I'm sorry that I cursed the cop
Who stopped us for inspections.

I'm sorry that I drove your truck
Straight into Calvin Creek.
I'm sorry 'bout that hockey puck
That landed on your cheek.

I've done a lot of things, I know,
For which I have regret.
But there is also something, though,
That I refuse to sweat.

'Twas when I introduced you to
The joys of Pez collecting
It started slowly, but it grew,
Your life it is affecting.

You go to Wal-Mart ev'ry day,
You live for Pez conventions.
You're deadly when you're on eBay,
You're in a new dimension.

So I'm not sorry for my role
In what you have become,
I won't say sorry, my dear soul,
I'll only say "You're welcome."

Earlier Every Year
By M.T. Chambers

Every year the Christmas stuff
Comes earlier than last
Santa's face is everywhere
Before October's passed.

You can't avoid the red and green
Whenever you go shopping.
They push it on you all the time,
It shows no sign of stopping.

But wait a minute, hold the phone,
The plot is growing thicker.
For this would mean that Christmas Pez
Does also come out quicker.

On second thought, I won't complain
That Santa comes too soon.
Instead I'll ask those many stores
For Christmastime in June.

I'm a Pez Dispenser, And I Approve This Message

In these tough times,
My fellow souls,

A change is badly needed.

People out there,
Everywhere, are
Zombified and ceded.

Don't you see?
Is it not clear?
Something is quite rotten.
Promises we
Each were told
Now have been forgotten.
Stop your worry!
End your pain!
Relief is very near.

Another chance,
New things to come,
Direction you will cheer.

If you would let

A Pez become
Part of your government,
Peace and joy would
Reign supreme
Over this cruel torment.
Vote for Pez! and
Ev'ryone is

Treated like a king
Have some candy,
I insist,
Savor that sweet spring.

Make Pez your choice and
Each of you will
Soar above the trees,
So when you vote
Ask long and hard,
Gosh, why can't I be pleased?
Elect Pez, pretty please.

Pez Haiku #70

I like my Pez like
I like my coffee: loaded
With sugary fun.

Thanks for reading the 2006 Pez Poetry Slam!

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