Heartbreak Pez Shelf
(To the tune of "Heartbreak Hotel")
Copyright 2007 JoePez Publications

Well since that lady bought me,
I've been all by myself
She left me all alone here on
The Heartbreak Pez shelf

She won't even load me, baby
She won't even load me
She won't even load me
That ain't right.

Not a single Pez beside me,
Not a Snoopy or a Shrek
It's just me on this dusty shelf,
And baby, I'm a wreck

She won't even load me, baby
She won't even load me
She won't even load me
That ain't right.

Yeah, the lamp don't ever turn on,
The door is always closed
She doesn't show me to her friends,
Oh man, that hurts the most

She won't even load me, baby
She won't even load me
She won't even load me
That ain't right.

So if you're on a store rack,
Take good care of yourself
You might end up like me here on
A Heartbreak Pez shelf

She won't even load me, baby
She won't even load me
She won't even load me
That ain't right.

50s Elvis Pez is All
Shook Up!

Its Now or Never for
60s Elvis Pez!

I Can't Help Dispensing Pez For You
(To the tune of "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You")
Coopyright 2007 JoePez Publications

Wise men say: one Pez at a time
But I can't help dispensing Pez for you
It's cliché, maybe it's a crime,
But I can't help dispensing Pez for you.

Like a candy brick makes a special treat,
Darling, have a flick
Sometimes life is too sweet
Take my Pez, take the whole roll too
For I can't help dispensing Pez for you.

Like a candy brick makes a special treat,
Darling, have a flick
Sometimes life is too sweet
Take my Pez, take the whole roll too
For I can't help dispensing Pez for you.

Viva Pez Oh Yes
(To the tune of "Viva Las Vegas")
Copyright 2007 JoePez Publications

Bright colored stems gonna make me want
Gonna make me wanna collect
Got a big long list of dispensers to get,
So I hope there's a lot to select

There's a drug store open all around the clock,
I'm gonna put on my shoes and go for a walk
And when I find some Pez, man it's going to rock
Viva Pez Oh Yes, Viva Pez Oh Yes

How I wish that there were more
Than just twelve candies in a roll
Cause even if there were fifty more
It wouldn't satisfy my soul

Oh, there's bagged Pez and loose Pez and Pez on card
Find 'em ev'rywhere, boy, it's not that hard,
And when you get a new one, please give my regards
Viva Pez Oh Yes, Viva Pez Oh Yes

Viva Pez Oh Yes with your wicked dispensin'
And your many conventions,
All those vintage Pez on display
Viva Pez Oh Yes, fillin' shelves with your treasure,
Givin' such endless pleasure
If you pick up one
Then you're gonna have a mighty fine day

I'm gonna keep hittin' stores,
I'm gonna keep gettin' more
Till I run out of room at my place
If I have to move, well
I'll always remember to find them lots of space

I've got 'em lined up, in row after row,
Much more than I had, just a year ago,
And will I ever stop, well the answer is no
Viva Pez Oh Yes, Viva Pez Oh Yes
Viva, Viva Pez Oh Yes!

Bein' Mint On Card
(To the tune of "Suspicious Minds")
Copyright 2007 JoePez Publications

I'm caught on a card,
My life is hard
Because I want to be free baby.

Why can't you tear
This plastic so unfair
And let me stand in your display?

I can't go on forever
Bein' mint on card
And I can't be filled with Pez
Bein' mint on card

So if my value falls,
Would you be so appalled
And have regrets about my freedom?

Here we go again,
Looks like I just can't win.
You can't hear the screams are real, I'm crying

I can't go on forever
Bein' mint on card
And I can't push the Pez out
Bein' mint on card

Oh, let the blister pack
Be taken off of its back
Let's don't cause a world of stress
When honey, you know
I'll dispense Pez for you
Mmm, yeah yeah

I'm caught on a card,
My life is hard
Because I want to be free baby.

Why can't you tear
This plastic so unfair
And let me stand in your display?

I'm caught on a card,
My life is hard
Because I want to be free baby.

Why can't you tear
This plastic so unfair
And let me stand in your display?

I'm caught on a card,
My life is hard
Because I want to be free baby.

Why can't you tear
This plastic so unfair
And let me stand in your display?

On the Pez Shelf
(To the tune of "In the Ghetto")
Copyright 2007 JoePez Publications

A collector smiles
In a nice suburban neighborhood
Another Pez dispenser is stood
On the Pez shelf
Yes it's been a while
And if there's one thing to be enjoyed
It's another brand new piece of joy
On the Pez shelf

People, don't you understand
Your Pez needs a place to stand
A box in a closet simply will not do.
Put it out on display,
Don't you wait another day
Just think about the pain you'd feel
If that Pez was you.

As the time moves on
And his Pez gets dusty and makes him sneeze,
With a massive gust of man-made breeze
On the Pez shelf
And they tumble down
They're close together one and all,
And like dominoes, they each do fall
Off the Pez shelf

Then one night in the pitch black dark
He steps on one poor Pez
He flips the light, he says "Oh crap"
But it's too late, its neck is snapped

A collector cries
And in tears he heads out for the store,
Cause he knows he needs to put one more
On the Pez shelf
And he finds a prize
In a nice suburban neighborhood
Another Pez dispenser is stood
On the Pez shelf

70s Elvis Pez thanks you,
thanks you very much.