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Pezhead Monthly
October 2003

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Spring Loaded: A Message from the Editor top of page | cover page

Happy October one and all! It's my extreme pleasure to welcome you to another issue of Pezhead Monthly, where Pez is viewed through a slighty different lens than you might find elsewhere.

I have to say, September was a pretty good month as far as Pez collecting goes. I continued to build my collection of the new 5.9 patent numbers, and I also came across one of the more unusual Pez licensed items, a Pez diary. I have gotten teased a bit to say the least, because the Pez diary looks like it should be owned by a preteen girl (judge for yourself...). I cannot help but respond, "Hey, it's Pez. I have no choice!" But by far the biggest thrill came late in the month, when the package finally arrived from Pez Inc. containing none other than the all new, limited edition Crystal Policeman and Crystal Fireman Pez dispensers. And let me tell you, they really look terrific.

This month's issue of Pezhead Monthly is jam-packed with Pez goodness. The feature article this month is submitted by a Pez diary, wherein some of the strange quirks of its collector are laid out for all the world to see. There's also the notorious Five Questions, this month with Mummy Pez of the new set of Halloween dispensers. Finally, what would Pezhead Monthly be without some more Pez Poetry and the Pez Almost-Quote of the Month?

I hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween, and that at least some of that trick-or-treatin' results in some Pez in those treat bags. See you next month!

Joe Durrant
Editor, Pezhead Monthly
joe@pezheadmonthly.com

 

I Have To Tell You, This Pez Collector is Nuts top of page | cover page
By a Pez Diary

Pez DiaryEditor's note: One of the newest licensed items in the Pez family is the Pez diary. Although somewhat hard to find, the Pez diary is a wonderful addition to any Pez collection. In this month's issue of Pezhead Monthly, one Pez diary shares its honest and heartfelt thoughts on its collector, according to the words recorded on its very pages over the past few weeks.

Okay, let me start out by saying that it really is a wonderful thing to be out of that scary dollar store and in a nice, safe home as part of a Pez collection. It's such a refreshing change of pace. Shopping carts don't pass you by all day, there's none of that horrible fluorescent lighting, and, without a doubt, the company here is a lot better.

But I have to tell you, this Pez collector is nuts. I mean he's a real head case. In the three short weeks that I have been here, I have witnessed some alarming behavior that borders on the line of obsessive, if not crossing the line completely here and there. I am wondering just how long he has been like this, and if in fact he is getting any worse.

Take for example his first entry.

September 12, 2003

Dear Pez Diary,

I heard through a most reliable source a few days ago that there is a newly licensed Pez item out on the market… and, as luck would have it, it is you, Pez Diary!

The only real tip I had was that you were to be found at a dollar store. Well, this narrowed it down somewhat, considering that there are only 30 or 40 dollar stores in the local area, and I wouldn't have to waste my time at the big Wal-Mart or Target stores looking for you.

So, after striking out at the first, oh, I don't know, 20 or 25 dollar stores, I came across The Store to End All Stores. I went up and down the first three or four aisles, looking desperately for the legendary Pez Diary. On a few occasions, a salesperson would ask me if I needed any help. I always politely declined, because I wanted to discover you for myself.

Then I saw you, standing out like a nun at a square dance, right there in the stationery section. I picked you up and looked you over. Wow, I thought, you looked wonderful! True, your colors and design seemed made for a pre-teen girl instead of me, but as a Pez collector I knew I couldn't make it without you (Plus, I figured, you'd be a good match for the Pez lip balm I bought earlier this year). And at a dollar, wow, what a deal!

And now that I have you in my collection, life is wonderful. I am looking forward to writing about all my Pez adventures, right here on your pages. I can't wait until my next entry! This is going to be awesome.

Do you see what I mean? Who in their right mind would go to 20 dollar stores just to look for a Pez diary? I mean, I'm not even a genuine Pez dispenser; I'm just some strange little item that Pez has decided to license. Just because I happen to have the word "Pez" upon me somehow made me the most important thing in the world on that day.

I don't mean to seem ungrateful. If he didn't buy me that day, I don't know where I'd be now. What happens when no one will buy you… from a dollar store, no less? I shudder at the thought.

And really, he's a nice guy and everything. It's just that sometimes his behavior is a little hard to rationalize. For instance, there's this entry:

September 17, 2003

Dear Pez Diary,

I have made a decision today that I have avoided for quite some time. You see, I have a lot of dispensers that I have not taken out of their packages yet. These dispensers are from Europe and, since they are not available for sale here in America, I have always been somewhat hesitant to open them. They have stayed in their packages for about seven years now.

I mean, what if I open them and they instantly lose value, you know, kind of like when you buy a new car and, as soon as you drive it off the dealer's lot, the car's value goes down by a few thousand dollars?

But I could never sell these dispensers. They are just too cool. They should be up on a shelf with all the other ones. Plus, they take up much less room when they are out of their packages.

So, just about an hour ago, I started to take them out of their packages, one by one. I have to admit that they look great on display. But a tiny part of me wishes that I had never taken them out of their packages. In those packages they were innocent. They were protected from this sometimes painfully harsh world, from the possibility of being accidentally tipped over or even broken.

But what's done is done, I say. I will be enjoying my new and improved Pez display from today forward, packaged Pez or no packaged Pez.

Words truly fail me at this point. Did it really take him seven years to take these Pez dispensers out of their packages? That just boggles my mind. And how on Earth does he come to the conclusion that these dispensers were actually safer in their packages? Surely he must know that every dispenser yearns to be free, and that only a cruel, unmerciful soul would keep them trapped in their packages.

Of course, that is just my opinion. I know I feel much more free where I am today.

Trust me, my collector means well, he really does. But sometimes I think he's gone over the edge and is not coming back anytime soon. As evidence of this, I offer the following entry. It is short but to the point.

September 24, 2003

Dear Pez Diary,

As I write this I am in tears. I came home from a long day at work to see an entire row of my Pez dispensers was tipped over. I am not sure what happened. Maybe a gust of wind or perhaps some sadistic fly knocked them over.

But the real tragedy came when I tried to stand them back up again. I got the first two or three standing up, but then the sleeve of my shirt caught on the next row of dispensers- and knocked all of them down too! Oh, I will never forget the horrible noise of all those Pez falling to the ground, all that plastic hitting the wood floor!

I need a moment to collect myself. Thank you, Pez Diary, for being here in my time of need.

Isn't that just pitiful? Not only is my collector woefully uncoordinated, he is nearly on the verge of a breakdown. Sometimes I think he takes this Pez thing a little too seriously.

For all his faults, though, my collector is still a pretty good guy. He always keeps his Pez collection in great shape and he is always looking for new things to add to it (including Yours Truly). And you should see the way he lights up whenever he gets the chance to talk about Pez to someone else. You could tell he really loves being a Pez collector.

As for me, I suppose it is my destiny to be the paper of record for the continuing saga of this one man's adventures in collecting Pez. I can only imagine what his next entry has in store.

Oh, and I guess all this stuff is supposed to be kept confidential, since I am a diary after all. So let's just make this our little secret, okay?


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