Spring
Loaded: A Message from the Editor top
of page | cover page
Happy
October one and all! It's my extreme pleasure to welcome
you to another issue of Pezhead Monthly, where Pez
is viewed through a slighty different lens than you might
find elsewhere.
I have
to say, September was a pretty good month as far as Pez
collecting goes. I continued to build my collection of the
new 5.9 patent numbers, and I also came across one of the
more unusual Pez licensed items, a Pez diary. I have gotten
teased a bit to say the least, because the Pez diary looks
like it should be owned by a preteen girl (judge
for yourself...). I cannot help but respond, "Hey,
it's Pez. I have no choice!" But by far the biggest
thrill came late in the month, when the package finally
arrived from Pez Inc. containing none other than the all
new, limited edition Crystal Policeman and Crystal Fireman
Pez dispensers. And let me tell you, they really look terrific.
This
month's issue of Pezhead Monthly is jam-packed with
Pez goodness. The feature article this month is submitted
by a Pez diary, wherein some of the strange quirks of its
collector are laid out for all the world to see. There's
also the notorious Five Questions, this month with Mummy
Pez of the new set of Halloween dispensers. Finally, what
would Pezhead Monthly be without some more Pez Poetry
and the Pez Almost-Quote of the Month?
I hope
everyone has a safe and fun Halloween, and that at least
some of that trick-or-treatin' results in some Pez in those
treat bags. See you next month!
Joe
Durrant
Editor, Pezhead Monthly
joe@pezheadmonthly.com
I
Have To Tell You, This Pez Collector is Nuts top
of page | cover page
By a Pez Diary
Editor's
note: One of the newest licensed items in the Pez family
is the Pez diary. Although somewhat hard to find, the Pez
diary is a wonderful addition to any Pez collection. In
this month's issue of Pezhead
Monthly, one Pez diary shares its honest and heartfelt
thoughts on its collector, according to the words recorded
on its very pages over the past few weeks.
Okay,
let me start out by saying that it really is a wonderful
thing to be out of that scary dollar store and in a nice,
safe home as part of a Pez collection. It's such a refreshing
change of pace. Shopping carts don't pass you by all day,
there's none of that horrible fluorescent lighting, and,
without a doubt, the company here is a lot better.
But
I have to tell you, this Pez collector is nuts. I mean he's
a real head case. In the three short weeks that I have been
here, I have witnessed some alarming behavior that borders
on the line of obsessive, if not crossing the line completely
here and there. I am wondering just how long he has been
like this, and if in fact he is getting any worse.
Take
for example his first entry.
September
12, 2003
Dear
Pez Diary,
I
heard through a most reliable source a few days ago that
there is a newly licensed Pez item out on the market
and, as luck would have it, it is you, Pez Diary!
The
only real tip I had was that you were to be found at a
dollar store. Well, this narrowed it down somewhat, considering
that there are only 30 or 40 dollar stores in the local
area, and I wouldn't have to waste my time at the big
Wal-Mart or Target stores looking for you.
So,
after striking out at the first, oh, I don't know, 20
or 25 dollar stores, I came across The Store to End All
Stores. I went up and down the first three or four aisles,
looking desperately for the legendary Pez Diary. On a
few occasions, a salesperson would ask me if I needed
any help. I always politely declined, because I wanted
to discover you for myself.
Then
I saw you, standing out like a nun at a square dance,
right there in the stationery section. I picked you up
and looked you over. Wow, I thought, you looked wonderful!
True, your colors and design seemed made for a pre-teen
girl instead of me, but as a Pez collector I knew I couldn't
make it without you (Plus, I figured, you'd be a good
match for the Pez lip balm I bought earlier this year).
And at a dollar, wow, what a deal!
And
now that I have you in my collection, life is wonderful.
I am looking forward to writing about all my Pez adventures,
right here on your pages. I can't wait until my next entry!
This is going to be awesome.
Do you
see what I mean? Who in their right mind would go to 20
dollar stores just to look for a Pez diary? I mean, I'm
not even a genuine Pez dispenser; I'm just some strange
little item that Pez has decided to license. Just because
I happen to have the word "Pez" upon me somehow
made me the most important thing in the world on that day.
I don't
mean to seem ungrateful. If he didn't buy me that day, I
don't know where I'd be now. What happens when no one will
buy you
from a dollar store, no less? I shudder at
the thought.
And
really, he's a nice guy and everything. It's just that sometimes
his behavior is a little hard to rationalize. For instance,
there's this entry:
September
17, 2003
Dear
Pez Diary,
I
have made a decision today that I have avoided for quite
some time. You see, I have a lot of dispensers that I
have not taken out of their packages yet. These dispensers
are from Europe and, since they are not available for
sale here in America, I have always been somewhat hesitant
to open them. They have stayed in their packages for about
seven years now.
I
mean, what if I open them and they instantly lose value,
you know, kind of like when you buy a new car and, as
soon as you drive it off the dealer's lot, the car's value
goes down by a few thousand dollars?
But
I could never sell these dispensers. They are just too
cool. They should be up on a shelf with all the other
ones. Plus, they take up much less room when they are
out of their packages.
So,
just about an hour ago, I started to take them out of
their packages, one by one. I have to admit that they
look great on display. But a tiny part of me wishes that
I had never taken them out of their packages. In those
packages they were innocent. They were protected from
this sometimes painfully harsh world, from the possibility
of being accidentally tipped over or even broken.
But
what's done is done, I say. I will be enjoying my new
and improved Pez display from today forward, packaged
Pez or no packaged Pez.
Words
truly fail me at this point. Did it really take him seven
years to take these Pez dispensers out of their packages?
That just boggles my mind. And how on Earth does he come
to the conclusion that these dispensers were actually safer
in their packages? Surely he must know that every dispenser
yearns to be free, and that only a cruel, unmerciful soul
would keep them trapped in their packages.
Of course,
that is just my opinion. I know I feel much more free where
I am today.
Trust
me, my collector means well, he really does. But sometimes
I think he's gone over the edge and is not coming back anytime
soon. As evidence of this, I offer the following entry.
It is short but to the point.
September
24, 2003
Dear
Pez Diary,
As
I write this I am in tears. I came home from a long day
at work to see an entire row of my Pez dispensers was
tipped over. I am not sure what happened. Maybe a gust
of wind or perhaps some sadistic fly knocked them over.
But
the real tragedy came when I tried to stand them back
up again. I got the first two or three standing up, but
then the sleeve of my shirt caught on the next row of
dispensers- and knocked all of them down too! Oh, I will
never forget the horrible noise of all those Pez falling
to the ground, all that plastic hitting the wood floor!
I
need a moment to collect myself. Thank you, Pez Diary,
for being here in my time of need.
Isn't
that just pitiful? Not only is my collector woefully uncoordinated,
he is nearly on the verge of a breakdown. Sometimes I think
he takes this Pez thing a little too seriously.
For
all his faults, though, my collector is still a pretty good
guy. He always keeps his Pez collection in great shape and
he is always looking for new things to add to it (including
Yours Truly). And you should see the way he lights up whenever
he gets the chance to talk about Pez to someone else. You
could tell he really loves being a Pez collector.
As for
me, I suppose it is my destiny to be the paper of record
for the continuing saga of this one man's adventures in
collecting Pez. I can only imagine what his next entry has
in store.
Oh,
and I guess all this stuff is supposed to be kept confidential,
since I am a diary after all. So let's just make this our
little secret, okay?
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