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Pezhead Monthly
October 2002

Cover and Table of Contents | Page 2 | Page 3

Spring Loaded: A Message from the Editor top of page | cover page

What a fantastic time of year it is to be a Pezhead. The leaves are changing, the temperature is finally dropping, and the new Glow-in-the-Dark Halloween dispensers are everywhere to be found.

The few dispensers that I got in September are due to the watchful eyes of some friends who know how obsessed I am with Pez. These finds included a Japanese Jango Fett and Clone Trooper, and some older dispensers from a local yard sale. I'm not sure how many traffic laws I broke getting to said yard sale, but the new Pez on my shelf tell me it was all worth it.

I hope that you will find this month's Pezhead Monthly worth it as well. Leading off the issue are some scary Pez Horror Movies. Also featured is an interview with the Glowing Witch Pez dispenser that takes an unfortunate turn. We also have the first-ever Pez Almost-Conversation of the Month, along with some spooky Pez Poetry and, yes, the return of Petey O' Jay.

Until next month, take care and keep flipping that Pez!

Joe Durrant
Editor, Pezhead Monthly
joe@pezheadmonthly.com

 

Pez Horror Movies top of page | cover page

One needn't turn into a vampire bat or don a hockey mask to strike fear in the hearts of Pez-loving filmgoers everywhere. Just in time for Halloween, the following three movies will make you lock your
doors, hide under a blanket, and find comfort in the nearest Pez dispenser.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The Night We Ran Out of Pez

Follow one harrowing evening when, after having a Pez party and sharing delicious Pez candy, a group of teenagers suddenly find that their supply of Pez has vanished. When the clock strikes midnight, the local stores are closed, and all the dispensers are empty, these teenagers will discover what it truly means to be afraid.


One by One, They All Fall Down

What starts as an innocent gust of wind turns into a Pez frightfest of epic proportions. When Goofy Pez starts to wobble and tips over, Daisy Pez and Pluto Pez are not far behind. Will any of the dispensers in the Pez collection be spared from suffering the "domino effect"? Will help come in time to save the vintage Betsy Ross and Astronaut Pez dispensers from being knocked over? Will you ever open a window near your Pez collection again?

For the truly brave of heart, be sure to check out "One by One, They All Fall Down: In 3D."

The Store That Never Had New Pez

Inspired by the true stories of Pezheads across the country, this is the blood-curdling tale of a small town grocery store whose shelves have been lined with all-too common Pez dispensers like Fred Flintstone, Garfield, and Fozzie Bear… for years upon years! Witness the unusual space-time continuum that prevents this store from getting the most recent dispensers, and hope against hope that your local store doesn't get sucked in too.

 



Pez Poetry top of page | cover page

A Pez Nightmare

I had a dream the other night,
One that filled me with such fright,
The air was thin, I almost gagged-
Trapped inside of a Pez bag!
This plastic prison wasn't dandy,
For though there were two packs of candy,
I had no arms with which to grab,
No fingers to remove the wrap.
I was just a head and stem, and
Surrounded by the scent of lemon;
Instead of skin and bones and things,
I was of plastic, paint, and springs.
The smile that was drawn on me
Belied my deep anxiety-
I tried to scream, but soon did find
I only heard this in my mind!

Giant bodies passed me by,
And on occasion two big eyes
Would peer into my plastic cell,
With gazes I knew all too well.
They'd wonder if it would be smart
To add me to their shopping cart,
Or if they'd rather come on back
When I am on the discount rack.
Inside my mind, I begged and pleaded
To be purchased, to be needed,
But on my face, that stupid grin
Told nothing of the pain within.
And then that moment did arrive,
A hand extended, so alive,
But not towards me, I realized,
And then my fear did multiply.

The worst, I thought, had come to pass,
But I was very wrong, alas,
For at that point, my eyes did see
A Pez, identical to me!
The face, the stem, the plastic bag,
The same amount on the price tag;
In ev'ry sense, it was my clone,
And yet I felt so cold, alone.
For though in him I was reflected,
Instead of me, he was selected.
What injustice, o what offense!
This out-of-Pez experience!
This gave me pause to contemplate:
I would not know the crueler fate,
To be entombed day after day,
Or see myself going away.

I woke up from this chilling dream,
Hoping things weren't as they seemed.
But just in case it was that drastic,
I freed my Pez from all that plastic.
And though I couldn't see or hear
Any trace of shock or fear,
This rescuing was not in vain,
For I had felt their lonely pain.
But when I lined them on the shelf,
Another chill coursed through myself;
I quickly grabbed the duplicates
And sold them on the Internet.
Away they'd go, to someplace warm,
Not knowing of their second forms,
And never having cause to bear
The horror of my Pez nightmare.

Pez Haiku #16

Trick or Treat, smell my
Feet, give me something good to
Eat. Pez will suffice.


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