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Pezhead Monthly
July 2010

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Spring Loaded: A Message from the Editor top of page | cover page

Welcome to Pezhead Monthly and the 2010 Pez Poetry Slam!

Although I was unable to make it to the St. Louis Pez convention in June (maybe next year!), I did make a last-minute trip to Chicago, where I discovered to my complete surprise and delight a novelty store named Uncle Fun. There was lots of Pez there, including some older loose ones. I picked up a clown stem variation I didn't have, the new White Sox MLB baseball, and a Pez puzzle. Also in June, I picked up a chrome-plated Batman Pez dispenser from eBay.

This issue of Pezhead Monthly is all about the Pez Poetry, because it is of course the 2010 Pez Poetry Slam! There are 15 Pez poems in this year's Pez Poetry Slam, including a couple reimaginings of other poems and the first ever Pez tanka. Tankas are Japanese poems that have been around for over 1300 years, so I figured it was about time to write one about Pez. Tanka, tanka very much.

For those Pezheads attending the sure-to-be-epic Pezamania 20 in Cleveland on July 15-17, I'll be there with paper copies of the 2010 Pez Poetry Slam, and of course I'll be meeting up with fellow Pezheads and adding some great new Pez to my collection. I can't wait! Expect a full recap in next month's issue of Pezhead Monthly.

Thanks for reading, and see you next month!

Joe Durrant
Editor, Pezhead Monthly

joe@pezheadmonthly.com


2010 Pez Poetry Slam top of page | cover page

New Computer

I got a new computer
Just the other week
It's super fast with tons of RAM
Oh man, I'm such a geek

There's lots of USB ports
And HDMI out,
A Blu-ray drive, 500 gigs,
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

But though it's got the specs
So hi-tech and intense,
It doesn't have a place for Pez
To load up or dispense.

I got a new computer,
I'll use it ev'ry day
But when I need to download joy,
I've got my Pez display.


Pez Haiku #105

For a brief moment
I cared about soccer. Then
It was back to Pez.


That Final Candy Brick

Do not dispense that final candy brick,
Eleven others met that single fate.
Rage, rage against the urge for one more flick.

Though it may seem to offer quite a kick,
You'll realize the loss a second late.
Do not dispense that final candy brick.

The candle that maintains the slightest wick
Will burn again upon another date.
Rage, rage against the urge for one more flick.

You'll maybe find it to be rather sick
To keep that brightness in such lonely shade.
Do not dispense that final candy brick.

The Christmas reindeer and the Easter chick
Should never have to know an empty state.
Rage, rage against the urge for one more flick.

For though it seems a choice so light and quick,
Without that one last Pez you'll be dismayed.
Do not dispense that final candy brick.
Rage, rage against the urge for one more flick.


A Thousand Friends

Keep your mob wars and your farms
I don't see their charms.
Keep your islands and your fish,
That is what I wish.

Stop your tags and superpoking,
Do you think I'm joking?
Stop your group and page suggestions,
Any other questions?

When I need a thousand friends,
To save me from myself,
They won't be found on Facebook,
But on my dear Pez shelf.


A Sonnet For Two Batmans

I saw a vintage Batman on eBay
With stem of red, nonfooted did it stand.
The auction was to end in one short day
Its price was low and ev'rything was grand.
And so I waited as the minutes ticked
And made my final bid with confidence,
But there was no way that I could predict
Another bidder playing good defense.
Despite the agony of that defeat,
I kept on searching for a Batman still.
And soon I found a chrome one, oh so sweet,
I placed a bid, and won with such a thrill.
Although I lost that vintage Batman score,
It made my chrome Bats matter that much more.


Pez Haiku #106

Eternal question:
Team Edward or Team Jacob?
My answer: Team Pez.


Hank

There once was Pezhead named Hank
Who withdrew a large sum from the bank.
He hopped in his car
And drove really far
To a convention so groovy and swank.


An Ode To The Ingredient List For Pez Candy (Except Chocolate)

Sugar, corn syrup, adipic acid
Face it, babe, you really has it.
Hyrdrogenated palm kernel
Your wonder truly is eternal.
Palm oils and soybean oil
Thanks to you I am so spoiled
Mono and diglycerides
You make me feel so good inside
Natural and artificial flavors
Without a doubt, you are quite savored
Artificial colors FD&C
You lift me up in ecstacy
Red 3, Yellow 5, Yellow 6, Blue 2
Pez candy ingredients, here's to you.

The 2010 Pez Poetry Slam continues here.

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