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Pezhead Monthly
July 2006

Cover and Table of Contents | Page 2 | Page 3

One Too Many Questions for the Stella Skunk Pez Dispenser top of page | cover page

Stella Skunk
Everything's coming up roses for Stella Skunk Pez.

Pezhead Monthly: Thanks for joining us, Stella Skunk. You are part of the new "Over The Hedge" set, and the first ever skunk to grace a Pez dispenser. What is your favorite sandwich?

Stella Skunk Pez: Um… well, I don't know. I guess ham on rye, maybe turkey on whole wheat? The veggie club isn't so bad, I guess.

PM: Wrongo! It's a peanut butter and smelly sandwich! Because you're a skunk, get it? Ahahahaha! Okay, seriously, back to the questions. You'd have thought that with all its other characters, Warner Brothers would have released a Pepe le Pew dispenser back in tha day, but alas, they did not. So here's my question. What did the judge say when you walked into the courtroom?

SSP: Courtroom? Well, I have never been involved in any legal matters, so I don't know what you are talking about here. I mean, I...

PM: The judge said "Odor in the court!" Get it? Because skunks have odor! Oh, man. Somebody stop me! Okay, sorry. Let me get a hold of myself. Okay, here goes. Stella Skunk Pez, along with your fellow "Over The Hedge" dispensers, you have such a unique design, indicating positive signs ahead for future dispensers. So, let me ask you this: what do you call a flying skunk?

SSP: Well, I really don't--

PM: A smellicopter! Oh, ha ha ha ha ha!!! Oh my god. That was great. That was just great. Okay… I can see you are getting a little angry here, although I can't understand why. So let me get right to the chase- I get the feeling that I've interviewed you before. But I am having difficulty finding the right word for this feeling. Can you help?

SSP: Well why don't you just tell me, genius?

PM: It was "deja phew!" HA HA HA HA HA HA! I don't think I can take it anymore! So I think we'd better wrap this one up. Finally, Stella Skunk Pez, what do you think Marlon Brando would have said if he had ever met you?

SSP: Let me guess… "Stella! STELLA!!!" That's it, isn't it? Okay, I think I've had just about enough. Now it's my turn. What did the wiseguy, pain-in-the-butt interviewer say when he realized he had asked one too many questions?

PM: Thanks for joining us, Stella Skunk. I… uh… have to make a phone call. Say, can I borrow your smellular phone?

(Interviewer giggles like a schoolgirl, then suddenly gets sprayed by Stella Skunk Pez.)

PM: (through a barrage of tears, running away in a mad panic, looking for a tub of tomato juice to dive in) I thought you were kidding! Oh no! What have you done?!?! Oh my god, no!!!

SSP: Yeah, I thought so.


(Editor's Note: No interviewers or Stella Skunk Pez dispensers were harmed in the making of this interview. Also, it should be noted that Stella Skunk Pez does not actually smell like a skunk. I mean, that would really stink.)


Pez Poetry top of page | cover page

Traffic Fantastic

Stuck in traffic, driving home,
Looking at those orange cones,
All lined up so endlessly,
An image so uncool to me.

But then I gave another thought
To the image these cones brought.
Instead of making me despair,
I realized that more was there.

They stood in line so very neat,
Each supported by their feet,
Much like the items on my shelf
That I had placed all by myself.

No longer cones, they were Pez stems,
Orange, every one of them,
Funky Faces, Crocodile,
Ninja Turtles with such style.

Big Bird's by the exit ramp,
Muselix, now he's a champ.
Luke Skywalker, whoop whoop whoop!
And, quite fittingly, there's a Scoop.

Crystal Pumpkin, Sally Car,
Cool Mickey, hey there you are!
And then there's Lucy, what a pleasure,
And some Garfields for good measure.

A honking horn, a vulgar shout,
Awoke me from this detoured route.
The road ahead was now made clear,
And no more orange cones, I feared!

'Til the last cone, my car did crawl,
For I just had to see them all.
So if you were behind me, man,
I hope that now you'll understand.

Pez Haiku #63

O Brangelina,
Your charity knows no bounds.
So how 'bout some Pez?


Pez Almost-Quote of the Month top of page | cover page

"I wish I knew how to quit Pez."


Cover and Table of Contents
| Page 2 | Page 3


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