Five Questions for the Super Mario Pez Dispenser top of page | cover page

Video may have killed the radio star, but video games led to the birth of Super Mario Pez.

Super Mario Pez: To be honest, it's a little of both. You try going through life being called "Super Mario." It ain't easy, I'll have you know. For example, when I call to order a pizza, sometimes I get comments like 'If you're so super, why don't you make your own pizza?' Also, being a Pez dispenser, I am unable to shoot fireballs at approaching enemies like I do in the video games, lest I melt my plastic frame. I mean, I don't really have too many enemies, but if I did, I would be out of luck should they approach me. When it's all said and done, though, I'd rather be Super Mario Pez than anyone else in the world. PM: And why might that be? SMP: Well, as a Pez dispenser I don't have to deal with angry mushrooms, ducks in turtle shells, or fire breathing dragons. There are also no cliffs to fall off of and no hammers to dodge. Best of all, there is no merciless being that clicks "continue" whenever I suffer a horrible death, only to make me relive it over and over again. As a Pez dispenser, the closest I come to danger is when someone tilts my head back too far, or when someone tries to cram too many Pez candies into my sleeve. The irony, of course, is that you can never have too much Pez.

PM: How very true. Super Mario Pez, can you elaborate on your background a little? Where are you from, and how does this relate to who you are today?

SMP: Wow, what a deep question. Here's the deal: I am of Italian ethnicity, I rose to fame as a video game star in Japan and North America, I was manufactured in Austria, and I have a U.S. patent. I'm all over the globe, baby! And you know what? I think my diversity makes me an ideal candidate for a Pez dispenser. Not to toot my own horn here, but much like me, Pez is a worldwide phenomenon. Further, the many colors of Pez are much like the many colors of Super Mario. I guess you can say it's a marriage made in heaven.

PM: Indeed it is. Speaking of colors, do you ever miss your green-clad brother, Luigi?

SMP: Oh yes, I do miss my brother very much. Some days I wonder how life would be if he was a Pez dispenser too, or if it was he instead of me who achieved immortality through being a Pez. But you know, what's done is done. And to be fair, I am the star. I don't recall it being called "Super Luigi Bros," do you?

PM: No, that's not how I remember it. You are indeed the star of the show, and unfortunately this particular show is drawing to a close. Do you have any parting thoughts to share?

SMP: I'd only like to say that I think I made the transition from video game star to Pez dispenser at just the right time. Video games nowadays are so complex, so graphic and intense. Pez dispensers are relatively simple things: you load them, you dispense them, and you load them back up again. They are so much fun to collect, display, and share. I'll take that over an angry mushroom any day of the week.

Pez Almost-Quote of the Month top of page | cover page

"You want the Pez? You can't handle the Pez!"

Pez Poetry top of page | cover page

Pez Haiku #13

Fifty years of Pez,
And yet everyday is
A new beginning.

Declaring Independence

This month gives us cause to rejoice
The day when we won our own voice.
Freedom is great,
And to celebrate
I'll tilt back a Pez of my choice.