Five
Questions for the Extreme Goofy Pez Dispenser top
of page | cover page
Pezhead
Monthly: Extreme Goofy Pez, you are part
of one of the newest sets of Pez dispensers available in
stores, the Extreme Disney set. Why Extreme Disney Pez,
and why now?
Extreme
Goofy Pez: Well, just look around and you'll
find your answer. Today we live in a world of extremes.
We have extreme batteries, extreme laundry detergent, extreme
volleyball, and extreme deodorant. I believe we even have
extreme peanut butter. So why not extreme Pez, then? I say
it's long overdue.
PM:
Yes, but haven't your Looney Tunes Pez counterparts already
beaten you to the punch a few years back?
EGF:
Actually, that's a common misconception. The Looney Tunes
set that you are referring to is the Cool Looney Tunes set.
Me wearing headphones, that's extreme. Pluto Pez chomping
on a bone, well, that's extreme, too. And yes, Sylvester
Pez might look cool in those sunglasses. But "extreme"?
I don't think so.
PM:
Well, I suppose you do have a point. But is there a fear
amongst your Extreme Disney Pez set that you might scare
off some of the more traditional Pez collectors, who may
prefer a more, shall we say, conventional look to their
dispensers?
EGF:
Well, here is the thing. You can dress us up in bowties
and edgy countenances, and in comparison to someone like
Panda Pez, yes, we may seem to have a lot more going on.
But ultimately, a dispenser is a dispenser is a dispenser.
The joy of finding a new dispenser in the stores, of freeing
it from its wrapper, of loading it up with sweet, delectable
Pez candy, and sharing it with kids of all ages, that transcends
whatever flashiness there might be in the design of the
dispenser. To paraphrase a popular song, all in all we're
just candy brick dispensers in the wall.
PM:
Incredibly deep, Extreme Goofy Pez, incredibly deep. But
now that we've established that you are indeed extreme,
can you elaborate on your goofiness? How does your being
extreme relate to your being goofy?
EGF:
Well, I'm a little bit extreme, a little bit goofy. Kind
of like being a little bit country, a little bit rock n'
roll. But where the extreme part of me is natural (I've
got a "Born to be Wild" tattoo on the inside of
my stem. I'm bad news, baby.), the goofiness kind of comes
with my name. That's what people expect of me, so that's
what they get. I mean, if I were Extreme Lounge Singer Pez,
you'd catch me in Las Vegas on the weekends singing "Strangers
in the Night".
PM:
Well, I suppose I would. Finally, Extreme Goofy Pez, the
question that America, nay, the world, needs to know the
answer to: just what on Earth are you listening to with
those headphones?
EGF:
I'm listening to motivational tapes, you know, learning
how to get in touch with my inner Pez. Oh, and also Less
Than Jake. I'm telling you, man, that band really speaks
to me.
Pez
Poetry top
of page | cover page
Pez
Haiku #26
Retro
Pez tin sign
With the cool Pez Astronaut,
Fly me to the moon.
Setting
Sights
I'd
just received my weekly check,
I cashed it in, hey, what the heck,
No time to spare, no, not a sec,
For I exist to Pez collect.
So well
before I paid the rent,
I had a single, pure intent,
To get some Pez, I boldly went,
For this is money wisely spent.
But
when I reached my favorite store,
The choices seemed so many more,
'Twas Pez from ceiling to the floor,
Much more than I could dare afford.
I had
to turn some Pez away,
I never thought I'd see that day,
But when I saw that big display,
I picked one out and gladly paid.
I guess
the moral to my plight
Is that you have to set your sights.
Resist that big Pez appetite,
For just one more will feel so right.
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