Spring Loaded: A Message from the Editor top of page | cover page

Fresh off the heels of another fantastic Pez Poetry Slam (thanks again to all contributors), I proudly present the May issue of Pezhead Monthly, albeit a few days later than usual. Thanks for your patience, and I'm looking forward to getting back on schedule next issue.

The Pez hunt continued in April when I was able to find the Pez Yummy Bubbles, which manage to be a nice addition to the collection and an odd licensed item at the same time. And, despite hot leads, I was unable to find the Extreme Disney Pez and the Pez Juices at the local 7-11 (although I did pick up the obligatory Vanilla Coke).

Anyway, the May issue of Pezhead Monthly is once again filled with literary tributes to the candy, the toy, the dandy, the joy that is Pez. We start off this month with the feature story, "On the Pez TV Dial This Month," a transposition of our favorite hobby and some of the more popular modern American television shows. We then have our monthly helpings of Pez Poetry and The Pez Almost-Quote, and wrap up with Five Questions for the Extreme Goofy Pez Dispenser.

Thanks again for reading, and I'll see you next month!

Joe Durrant
Editor, Pezhead Monthly
joe@pezheadmonthly.com

On the Pez TV Dial This Month top of page | cover page

Monday, May 5: Who Wants to Flip a Pez Dispenser?

Join host Bruce Stem as he challenges contestants with questions progressing from painfully easy to ridiculously difficult. Contestants are rewarded with Pez dispensers of increasing value, starting with Dino Pez, moving up to the likes of the Sports promotion dispensers, and ultimately to Snow White Pez and Thor Pez. If they can't stand the heat, they should stay out of the candy store. It is a game of persistence, pressure, and plenty of Pez.

Thursday, May 8: Trading Dispensers

Imagine the hijinks that will ensue when two Pez collectors trade their collections for 48 hours! Would they do it? Could they do it? Tune in!

Tuesday, May 13: American Giant Pez Idol

Will Musical Giant Santa Pez wow the judges this week? What about Musical Charlie Brown Pez? Or perhaps Musical Giant Snoopy Pez will be the top dog? The true dark horse, however, has to be Talking Giant Homer Pez, whose self-depreciating comments like "Why am I such a loser, why?" will likely steal judge Simon Cowell's thunder. If he can't cut Homer down any worse than that, he'll have no excuse to not send him on to the next round.

Wednesday, May 21: Law and Order: EBay Fraud Unit

Who knew that after fourteen other attempts, the folks who make "Law and Order" spinoffs get their biggest hit yet. "Law and Order: EFU" takes its storylines directly from newspaper headlines, or at least from stories that could conceivably be found somewhere in newspapers. In this week's episode, detectives Roger Springhead and Vince Wrapper hunt down the obnoxious little punk who takes the paint off of store-bought Pez dispenser character heads and then has the nerve to sell them on eBay as "factory errors," proceeding to make tens if not hundreds of dollars from unsuspecting eBay users looking for rare and unique Pez. While this is not technically an offense punishable by law, the mere capture and stern scolding of this huckster makes this episode of "EFU" must-see TV for Pezheads everywhere.

Monday, May 26: Everybody Loves Pezman

Ray Pezman stars in this quirky sitcom set in suburban America. Ray has an impressive collection of more than 1000 dispensers, displayed prominently in curio cases throughout his house. However, Ray's wife, kids, and parents all think he is a tad obsessive about his hobby, and they are constantly picking on him. But someway, somehow, it's all living proof that Everybody Loves Pezman.

Friday, May 30: Taz Pez: The E! True Hollywood story

He's known as one of the more well-designed dispensers of recent years, and a must-have for modern Pez collectors all across the land. But Taz Pez's recent fame came at a heavy price, with years of late-night parties, a string of unsuccessful marriages, and a brief but damaging addiction to prescription painkillers. He's back on top now, but leave it to "Taz Pez: The E! True Hollywood Story" to expose the reality behind his success.

(Note: the preceding is intended to be a parody of how some of today's more popular TV shows might appear if influenced by Pez. It is not the intent of Pezhead Monthly to suggest that any of the above shows are official in any capacity)

Pez Almost-Quote of the Month top of page | cover page

"You must be the Pez you wish to see in the world."