Pez Poetry Slam, Continued top of page | cover page

The Ballad of the Weary yet Triumphant Pezhead
by Joe Durrant

His shelves were filled with Pez galore,
But there was emptiness inside:
Although he'd been to ev'ry store,
He knew that there was Pez worldwide.
He packed his bags and told his friends
That he was bound for greater things.
His goal, to find the Pez road's end,
And too, the glory that this brings.
Thus in the night he swiftly fled,
This bold, ambitious, young Pezhead.

Before too long he reached state line,
His mind determined on its quest.
He stopped when he saw on a sign,
"The Best Flea Mart in the Midwest."
But though our noble Pezhead browsed
For new dispensers at that place,
The lofty dreams he had espoused
Were met with Pez-less table space.
He searched for Pez, but found instead
A dead-end road, this sad Pezhead.

Refusing to surrender here,
He took a train to the west coast;
As California did appear,
So once again did his Pez hopes.
He scoured beaches, movie sets,
He browsed amusement parks and shops,
But each and ev'ry try was met
With empty hands, and so he stopped.
The Golden State was made of lead,
At least to this forlorn Pezhead.

Although quite sad and out of it,
This Pezhead had another plan:
He'd go to Orange, Connecticut,
Where Pez is made, where it began.
Surely this must be the way
For him to find his Pez-sick cure!
But rules made by the FDA
Denied him just a simple tour.
The Home of Pez, although he pled,
Would not allow this poor Pezhead.

Out of money and ambition,
Dejected, beaten, and quite down,
He headed back from his Pez mission,
Back to his Pez-less little town.
He parked the car, went to the door,
He threw his mail upon the table.
Was he a Pezhead anymore?
After this, was he still able?
His wounds were deep, and how he bled,
This disillusioned, hurt Pezhead.

Months passed by without a mention
Of his hobby once admired;
His life was filled with stress and tension
Without the calm that Pez inspired.
But one bright day, a friend appeared,
A college pal from years ago.
"I've got a gift," his friend made clear,
"And you'll enjoy it, this I know."
He wondered what this gift could be,
From such an long forgotten friend,
And when he looked inside to see,
'Twas Pez dispensers, end to end!
An Uncle Sam, an Astronaut!
Popeye, Thor, Bullwinkle, too!
His friend said "This gift I have brought,
For where there's Pez, there's always you."
And with those words, sincerely said,
He was reborn, this true Pezhead.

He once felt vacant, incomplete,
He wanted Pez he'd never find,
But he has learned from his defeats
That Pez is endless in his mind.
There's always Pez beyond his reach,
There's always one more to obtain.
But he won't pine, he won't beseech;
His love of Pez will still remain.
Orange, purple, yellow, red:
The colors of this proud Pezhead.

Pez Haiku #10
by Joe Durrant

The package says "assorted,"
But the grape and orange flavors
Are sadly missing.

Peter Is the Man
by Ron Scott

Peter Pez is really neat,
I think he has that Barbie beat.
So pull him back for a treat
And find something good to eat.

Shades of Pez by Joe Durrant A Pez alone is groovy, But groovier with shades. Case in point, these three dispensers, Who clearly have it made. Sylvester Pez, you know you're hip, You're way too hip for Tweety. Joe Cool Pez, you're very cool, I think that bears repeating. And you, Shark Pez, You're smoother than molasses. I'm sure a reason for this fact Is your stylish sunglasses. Three dispensers lookin' good, A cat, a dog, a shark. The only problem they might have Is seeing in the dark.

Pez Almost-Quote of the Month top of page | cover page

"A Pez in the hand is worth two in the dispenser."