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Five
Questions for the Mike Wazowski Pez Dispenser, Canceled
Abruptly in Mid-Interview top
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Mike Wazowski Pez has his eye on you.
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Pezhead
Monthly: Mike Wazowski Pez, thanks
very much for joining us. By way of introduction to
our readers, you are one of the new Pixar series of
Pez dispensers, which also includes Buzz Lightyear,
Nemo, and your old buddy Sully from "Monster's
Inc." You've certainly come a long way since
your movie came out in 2001. What are your thoughts
on this?
Mike
Wazowski Pez: Two
thoughts, man- wow and double wow. One day you are
making a living by scaring children and before you
know it, you are sitting on their shelves as their
newest Pez dispenser, or possibly even their first.
I am sure Sully is feeling the same way. I gotta tell
you, sometimes I miss the opportunity to frighten
children. Fortunately there are still plenty of English
nannies, brussel sprouts, and clowns to fill that
void.
PM:
Well, I see your point. But now that you're a Pez
dispenser, it must be a whole new world. What kinds
of wacky adventures have you gotten yourself into
over the past few months?
MWP:
I'll tell you, dispensing fruity goodness to kids
of all ages is always an adventure for a Pez dispenser.
But Sully Pez and I still make
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a great
team, and sometimes our old habits die hard. For example,
we like to sneak up on Chicken Little Pez and yell "Look
out, Colonel Sanders is coming!" Ah, that never gets
old. He scares so easy anyway. In fact one time he got so
scared when we snuck up on him that he tipped over, causing
the rest of the row of Pez dispensers to tip over. We got
some dirty looks after that, but we are trying to be better.
PM:
That is good to hear, Mike Wazowski Pez. At this point I
must remark on your unique design, with the one feature
that most stands out on being the fact that you only have
one eye. Have you noticed this having any effect on your
interactions with other dispensers or with Pez enthusiasts?
MWP:
Well, at first I got stuff like "What's shakin', Cyclops?"
from other dispensers. It almost hurt my feelings but I
soon realized they meant it in a friendly way, and ever
since then we have gotten along just fine. As for Pez enthusiasts,
I have gotten a pretty warm reception. It's just a guess,
but I think it's because in a sense my one-eye look is a
callback to the days of the classic Psychedelic Eye Pez
and Psychedelic Flower Pez, which both had one eye. I can't
think of any other Pez dispensers with only one eye. In
fact… no, there's not one eye can think of!
Editor's
note: Although far worse puns have been dispensed in
the past in this publication, and far worse puns have yet
to be dispensed, it's time to put the foot down. Therefore,
this interview has been cancelled due to bad punnery on
the part of Mike Wazowski Pez. But, as long as we are on
the topic…
Five
Fast Facts About Mike Wazowski Pez:
Favorite
Marlon Brando Movie: "One-Eyed Jacks"
Favorite type of corrective lens: The monocle
Favorite Queen song: "One Vision"
Favorite X-men Hero: Cyclops
Favorite lyric from Metallica's "Enter Sandman":
"Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow
tight."
Pez
Poetry top
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Pez
Haiku #74
Let's
fill the potholes
As we fill the dispensers:
With lots of candy.
Pez
Almost-Quote of the Month top
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"You
can load some of the Pez dispensers all of the time, and
all of the Pez dispensers some of the time, but you can
not load all of the Pez dispensers all of the time."
Cover
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