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Five
Questions for the Giant Indianapolis Colt Pez Dispenser
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Indianapolis
Colt Pez tackles the tough issues of the day.
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Pezhead
Monthly: Giant Indianapolis Colt Pez,
thank you for joining us. First off, a note of congratulations
on your team winning the AFC conference and going
to the Super Bowl for the first time ever. How does
it feel to be a part of such an historic occasion?
Giant
Indianapolis Colt Pez: Well, it's been
a roller coaster ride, that's for sure. It seems like
just yesterday that Giant Jacksonville Jaguar Pez
kept knocking me over. I don't know who peed in his
cornflakes, but eventually he left me alone and things
got better. And now here we are at the big game. And
as an added bonus, I am also part of the Pez family.
That's a huge honor itself, I must say.
PM:
And mad props for that as well. Speaking of which,
I cannot help but notice that you are still in your
package. It's a little disconcerting, I have to admit,
since most Pezhead Monthly interviewees are free of
their formerly packaged lives. So what's up with that?
GICP:
You'll
have to talk to my collector to get the answer to
that
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one.
While he's usually pretty good at setting his
Pez free, every once in a while
he gets weird about it. There's also some eBay Pez a couple
of shelves over that are in the same predicament. I'll tell
you, it wouldn't bother me so much if my feet weren't so constrained.
Every now and then I get cramps, but I'm a big, brawny football
player, so I'm supposed to be a tough guy and walk it off.
But I can't even do that, because I can't walk!
PM:
I can sense your frustration, Giant Indianapolis Colt Pez,
but try to think about your status as a collectible. Not
only are you a Pez, which is something right there, but
depending on how your team does in the big game, your dollar
value as a collectible will surely soar. So you've got that
going for you, right?
GICP:
Well, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but when it
comes to my "dollar value" it's kind of a moot
point. I mean, look at the track record here. While my collector
has a sterling track record of buying Pez, he has
a rather woeful record of selling Pez. Heck, even
if Peyton Manning himself signed my box, he still wouldn't
sell me. But, come to think of it…you know what? I'm
glad he holds on to me, and I wouldn't want to be sold off
anyway. I like it here. There's plenty of fellow Pez to
hang out with. I'm just sayin'.
PM:
I catch your drift, man. Moving on to a less stressful subject,
can you tell us a little bit about the long relationship
that Pez has had with sports?
GICP:
Oh sure. You know, Pez and sports go back almost as long
as Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson. Back in the sixties, Pez
came out with its first football player dispenser, along
with the baseball glove. That's old school, you gotta respect
that. Then in the 70s and 80s you had those fantastic Olympic
dispensers. And in more recent times there have been a flurry
of Pez dispenser promotions at all kinds of sporting events,
not to mention the new Nascar and college football sets.
No matter how you look at it, the combination of Pez and
sports is a slam dunk. Or a home run, I suppose. I guess
you could also consider it a touchdown. Perhaps a hole-in-one?
Picking up the 7-10 split?
<panics>
How
much longer do we have? I'm running out of sports metaphors!
PM:
Not to fear, Giant Indianapolis Colt Pez. There's only one
more question before the whistle blows on this interview.
I'm just curious, will you be watching the Super Bowl for
the game or the commercials?
GICP:
Well of course I'm looking forward to cheering my team on,
so I'll be watching the game. But I'll tell you what, those
commercials are pretty fun too. And how cool would it be
if there was a Pez commercial or two in between plays? They
could even work in some of the patent numbers. Hut one,
hut two! 3.9! 2.6! 5.9! Pez, Pez, Pez!
Pez
Poetry top
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Pez
Haiku #73
I hope
the weather
Will soon follow the Pez lead
And bring the spring thing.
Nomination
Awards
will be here pretty soon,
For everything, a statue comes
The greatest movies, shows and songs
Will all get moments in the sun.
Walk
the carpets, pose for pics,
Be talked about in magazines.
Put that statue on your shelf
And throw a party so obscene.
But
there, upon another shelf,
An icon stands unrecognized
It gives such joy to everyone
But never gets a golden prize
So in
that spirit I declare
A nomination overdue:
For Best Collectible on Earth,
It's Pez dispensers, through and through.
Pez
Almost-Quote of the Month top
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"You
may say I'm a Pezhead, but I'm not the only one."
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