Five Questions for the Pirate Pez Bobblehead top of page | cover page

The "Aye's" have it: Pirate Pez Bobblehead shakes things up.

Pezhead Monthly: Pirate Pez Bobblehead, you are one of those "exclusive" licensed Pez products that really exemplify the power and wonder of Pez, truly one in a million. Are you finding all of this fame overwhelming? Pirate Pez Bobblehead: Well, first, I hate to be picky here, but technically I am one in five thousand. No, really, check the box. But beyond that little detail, I really do feel honored to be part of the Pez family. My grandfather, made in the 1970s as an actual Pez dispenser, is from what I understand a favorite piece of many a collection. So I had the luxury of having his coattails to ride on. But I'd like to think I have been able to make a name for myself. PM: Indeed you have, Pirate Pez Bobblehead, indeed you have. But I have to ask, how are you reconciling being part of the wondrous Pez family with also being a pirate? It seems that these two things are rather at odds with one another.

PPB: Well there's a contrast, sure, but as usual the happiness and joy of Pez comes through with flying colors. I have to say that I do enjoy the pirate look- the eye patch and the bandana makes me look quite the part. Heck, if I had shoulders I might even have a little parrot to keep me company. But being a Pez means that I cannot just rampage innocent villagers and steal their gold and silver. Instead, as a Pez I have a responsibility to put smiles on people's faces and sunshine in their hearts, and that's a little difficult to do when you are threatening to cut their throats.

PM: That is a good point, Pirate Pez Bobblehead. But do you at least get to say any of those cool pirate sayings? And do you ever wish you were off searching for buried treasure instead of being part of a Pez collection?

PPB: Again, Pez only makes being a pirate that much better. For example, I often enjoy saying things like "There be Pez in them thar hills, gar!" or "Yo ho ho and a bottle of Pez Juice!" (Ed. note: for more info about Pez Juice, check out www.pezjuice.com.), or the ever popular "Pez marks the spot!" Man, Batman Pez always enjoys that one, let me tell you. As far as buried treasure, I don't ever really desire to go out on some quest to find it. But I can tell you with certainty that the best kind of treasure is buried in the chambers of a loaded Pez dispenser.

PM: Eloquently put, Pirate Pez Bobblehead. Shifting gears here, are there any unique challenges that a Pez Bobblehead faces?

PPB: Without a question, the headaches can become unbearable. You see, unlike regular Pez dispensers, my spring is not used for loading and dispensing Pez candy, but rather it is used to connect my head to my body. As a result, any slight movement causes me to experience a great deal of head shaking. I'm telling you, Stevie Wonder has nothing on me. But luckily, Nurse Pez Bobblehead and Doctor Pez Bobblehead not only have the medical expertise necessary to treat my frequent headaches, but also the ability to empathize with me. That really goes a long way..

PM: I'll bet it does. Finally, Pirate Pez Bobblehead, 2003 was the year of the so-called "Pirate Super Bowl," featuring the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Oakland Raiders. Did you feel any sense of sadness over not being allowed to participate, not even as a guest commentator?

PPB: Well, it would have been nice to be asked, that's for sure. But really, the extent of my sports knowledge extends solely to my experiences with the recent sports promotion Pez dispensers. So to be honest, I wouldn't be able to offer much insight into the big game. However, if there is ever a need for someone to chime in with incisive statements like "Prepare to walk the Pez shelf, arrgh!" then look no further than Yours Truly.

Pez Poetry top of page | cover page

Pez Haiku #20

If a diamond is
Forever, then a Pez is
Not too far behind.

Groundhog Day

Legend tells of Groundhog Pez,
Who ev'ry year upon this day
Steps outside his tree-side home
To see if Pez is on its way.

If there's a shadow to be seen,
Old Groundhog Pez is in despair;
For this means that for six more weeks
There won't be new Pez anywhere.

But if no shadow does appear,
Then Groundhog Pez can fret no more;
For this means that it won't be long
'Till new Pez comes to all the stores.

So this year I won't take the chance
Of six more Pez-less weeks ahead;
That's why I've shut off his alarm,
And Groundhog Pez will stay in bed.

Pez Haiku #21

She loves Pez, she loves
Pez not. She loves Pez, she loves
Pez not… She loves Pez!

Pez Almost-Quote of the Month top of page | cover page

"How do I love Pez? Let me count the ways."