Spring
Loaded: A Message from the Editor top
of page | cover page
Love
is truly in the air this month, and of course so is Pez.
Although
rumors have been rampant about the release of the new 2003
set of Valentines Pez dispensers, at the time of this writing
I have been unsuccessful in finding any of them. Perhaps
as Valentine's Day gets closer they will be more readily
available. However, I was "Pez"eantly surprised
to find all eight of the new Cat and Dog Fuzzy Friends.
As always, the best Pez finds happen when you least expect
them.
And,
I have to be honest; I had also not expected the February
2003 issue of Pezhead Monthly to be as content-rich
as it turned out to be. However, everything changed when
I got word that Dr. Pez was again available to dispense
his wisdom. In this issue, he offers sound advice to three
people whose love of Pez is causing them considerable angst.
Also featured in this issue is an exclusive interview with
the Pirate Pez Bobblehead, who has a surprisingly steady
head on his shoulders, considering it is attached to his
body with a spring. There are also three Pez poems in this
issue, and of course the infamous Pez Almost-Quote of the
Month.
So spend
Valentine's Day with the one you love. Wait with baited
breath to see if that groundhog sees its shadow. But this
month and every month, don't forget to keep flippin' that
Pez.
Joe
Durrant
Editor, Pezhead Monthly
joe@pezheadmonthly.com
PS: It's never too early to submit your Pez poetry for the
2003 Pezhead Monthly Pez Poetry Slam, which will
take place in the pages of the April 2003 issue. We had
some great submissions last year (check out the April
2002 issue to have a look) and I'm sure we'll have some
more this time around.
Dr.
Pez Presents: Advice for the Pez Lovelorn top
of page | cover page
Pezhead
Monthly is proud to welcome back its resident medical expert,
Dr. Pez. This month, Dr. Pez answers some burning questions
from people struggling with the pain that a love of Pez
often brings.
Dear Dr. Pez,
I must
confess to some strange feelings I have been having lately.
You see, I've never been a Pez collector. But lately it
seems that every time I pass a Pez display
in a store, my palms get sweaty, my knees get jittery, and
I find it difficult to breathe. Am I experiencing a food
allergy, or is there something else going on?
Sincerely,
Troubled in Tacoma
Dear Troubled,
What
you are experiencing is no food allergy. In fact, there
can only be one explanation for the symptoms you offer:
Pez Love. As a medical doctor (and also as a Pez dispenser),
I can tell you that this is a distinct condition that affects
quite a large segment of the population. My advice is that
you do not consider this sensation to be an affliction.
Rather, I would explore your love of Pez. Pick up one or
two (or seventeen!) of these fine dispensers and begin your
Pez collection. At this point your love for Pez will be
appropriately manifested, and suffice it to say you will
breathe a lot easier.
Dear Dr. Pez,
In a
recent argument with my girlfriend, she got so mad at me
that she shoved a Donald Duck Pez dispenser up my nose.
While I do love her dearly, and have always lived and breathed
Pez, this is taking it a bit too far. Should I take my girlfriend's
reckless disrespect for my favorite hobby as a sign that
my love for her and my love of Pez cannot mutually co-exist?
Also, what's the best way to dislodge a Pez dispenser from
one's nose?
Sincerely,
Frazzled in Fargo
Dear Frazzled,
Things
tend to happen in the heat of an argument. Names are often
called, accusations are often made, and Pez dispensers are
often shoved in inappropriate places. Please do not take
this as an ultimatum amounting to "It's either me or
the Pez." Remember that there really is no such thing
as too much love.
However, bear in mind that both your girlfriend and your
Pez dispensers need care and attention. Take time to listen
to her and share yourself with her in turn, and also, make
sure that your Pez collection is well maintained and out
of reach should disputes arise. Share the love and you will
always find that it will come back to you in countless ways.
As to
your second question, a little bit of club soda should do
the trick.
Dear Dr. Pez,
I am
about to embark on a two-week vacation in Europe. I am scheduled
to visit all of the hot spots- London, Paris, Rome, Barcelona
you name it. However, I am very concerned about the prospect
of leaving my Pez collection alone for that long a period
of time. I fear that I will fall apart without my beloved
Pez collection beside me, as it will be across the ocean
here in the states. What am I to do?
Sincerely,
Discombobulated in Detroit
Dear Discombobulated,
I would
urge you to first take a long, deep breath. Things are not
as bad as they seem. What you are experiencing is a common
problem known as Pez Separation Anxiety, or PSA. This happens
whenever a Pezhead is separated from his or her dispensers
for an extended period of time, and it only worsens as the
Pezhead gets farther away the collection.
But
do not fret, for there are several ways to cope with PSA.
For example, you could take a picture of your collection
on your vacation and look at it whenever you feel particularly
lonely. You can also look for new Pez in the places you
visit- this will have the dual benefit of keeping your collection
closer to you and also adding to it when you return.
I think
that by trying the above, you'll find that it's a small,
small world of Pez after all.
Thanks to all who have written, and remember that the love
of Pez is a many splendored thing.
Pez Always Heals,
Do you
have a question relating to Pez health? If so, please e-mail
Dr. Pez at drpez@pezheadmonthly.com.
|