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Pezhead Monthly
February 2003

Cover and Table of Contents | Page 2 | Page 3

Spring Loaded: A Message from the Editor top of page | cover page

Love is truly in the air this month, and of course so is Pez.

Although rumors have been rampant about the release of the new 2003 set of Valentines Pez dispensers, at the time of this writing I have been unsuccessful in finding any of them. Perhaps as Valentine's Day gets closer they will be more readily available. However, I was "Pez"eantly surprised to find all eight of the new Cat and Dog Fuzzy Friends. As always, the best Pez finds happen when you least expect them.

And, I have to be honest; I had also not expected the February 2003 issue of Pezhead Monthly to be as content-rich as it turned out to be. However, everything changed when I got word that Dr. Pez was again available to dispense his wisdom. In this issue, he offers sound advice to three people whose love of Pez is causing them considerable angst. Also featured in this issue is an exclusive interview with the Pirate Pez Bobblehead, who has a surprisingly steady head on his shoulders, considering it is attached to his body with a spring. There are also three Pez poems in this issue, and of course the infamous Pez Almost-Quote of the Month.

So spend Valentine's Day with the one you love. Wait with baited breath to see if that groundhog sees its shadow. But this month and every month, don't forget to keep flippin' that Pez.

Joe Durrant
Editor, Pezhead Monthly

PS: It's never too early to submit your Pez poetry for the 2003 Pezhead Monthly Pez Poetry Slam, which will take place in the pages of the April 2003 issue. We had some great submissions last year (check out the April 2002 issue to have a look) and I'm sure we'll have some more this time around.


Dr. Pez Presents: Advice for the Pez Lovelorn top of page | cover page

Dr. Pez Presents: Advice for the Pez LovelornPezhead Monthly is proud to welcome back its resident medical expert, Dr. Pez. This month, Dr. Pez answers some burning questions from people struggling with the pain that a love of Pez often brings.

Dear Dr. Pez,

I must confess to some strange feelings I have been having lately. You see, I've never been a Pez collector. But lately it seems that every time I pass a Pez display
in a store, my palms get sweaty, my knees get jittery, and I find it difficult to breathe. Am I experiencing a food allergy, or is there something else going on?

Troubled in Tacoma

Dear Troubled,

What you are experiencing is no food allergy. In fact, there can only be one explanation for the symptoms you offer: Pez Love. As a medical doctor (and also as a Pez dispenser), I can tell you that this is a distinct condition that affects quite a large segment of the population. My advice is that you do not consider this sensation to be an affliction. Rather, I would explore your love of Pez. Pick up one or two (or seventeen!) of these fine dispensers and begin your Pez collection. At this point your love for Pez will be appropriately manifested, and suffice it to say you will breathe a lot easier.

Dear Dr. Pez,

In a recent argument with my girlfriend, she got so mad at me that she shoved a Donald Duck Pez dispenser up my nose. While I do love her dearly, and have always lived and breathed Pez, this is taking it a bit too far. Should I take my girlfriend's reckless disrespect for my favorite hobby as a sign that my love for her and my love of Pez cannot mutually co-exist? Also, what's the best way to dislodge a Pez dispenser from one's nose?

Frazzled in Fargo

Dear Frazzled,

Things tend to happen in the heat of an argument. Names are often called, accusations are often made, and Pez dispensers are often shoved in inappropriate places. Please do not take this as an ultimatum amounting to "It's either me or the Pez." Remember that there really is no such thing as too much love.
However, bear in mind that both your girlfriend and your Pez dispensers need care and attention. Take time to listen to her and share yourself with her in turn, and also, make sure that your Pez collection is well maintained and out of reach should disputes arise. Share the love and you will always find that it will come back to you in countless ways.

As to your second question, a little bit of club soda should do the trick.

Dear Dr. Pez,

I am about to embark on a two-week vacation in Europe. I am scheduled to visit all of the hot spots- London, Paris, Rome, Barcelona… you name it. However, I am very concerned about the prospect of leaving my Pez collection alone for that long a period of time. I fear that I will fall apart without my beloved Pez collection beside me, as it will be across the ocean here in the states. What am I to do?

Discombobulated in Detroit

Dear Discombobulated,

I would urge you to first take a long, deep breath. Things are not as bad as they seem. What you are experiencing is a common problem known as Pez Separation Anxiety, or PSA. This happens whenever a Pezhead is separated from his or her dispensers for an extended period of time, and it only worsens as the Pezhead gets farther away the collection.

But do not fret, for there are several ways to cope with PSA. For example, you could take a picture of your collection on your vacation and look at it whenever you feel particularly lonely. You can also look for new Pez in the places you visit- this will have the dual benefit of keeping your collection closer to you and also adding to it when you return.

I think that by trying the above, you'll find that it's a small, small world of Pez after all.

Thanks to all who have written, and remember that the love of Pez is a many splendored thing.

Pez Always Heals,

Do you have a question relating to Pez health? If so, please e-mail Dr. Pez at drpez@pezheadmonthly.com.

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