Spring Loaded: A Message from the Editor top of page | cover page

Happy 2008 from Pezhead Monthly! Last month's Pez Poetry Slam was a big success. Thanks again to all contributors and readers.

As we begin another year, there's a lot to look forward to. Plently of new Pez are scheduled to be coming out and I look forward to adding many pieces to my collection this year. There will of course be a trip to a Pez convention as well.

But hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. This issue of Pezhead Monthly takes a moment to look back at the wonder that was 2007, in both a summary of Pez-related events and in Pezhead Monthly cover images. Also in this issue is some Pez Poetry and a Pez Almost-Quote to kick off the new year in style.

Thanks for reading, and see you next month!

Joe Durrant
Editor, Pezhead Monthly
joe@pezheadmonthly.com

2007: The Year In Pez top of page | cover page

2007: Oh, what a magical year it was. All kinds of amazing things went down in the areas of entertainment, sports, technology, and culture. However, as we are just settling in to 2008, it's easy to forget just how much of an impact Pez had on last year's events. Herewith, a look back at some events in 2007, and what part Pez had to play in them.

January

A sizable settlement is announced for the divorce of Paul McCartney and Heather Mills. Under terms of the agreement, McCartney would pay £32 million in cash to his ex-wife. Unfortunately, instead of going on the biggest Pez hunt in recorded history, Mills chooses to spend the bulk of the money training for "Dancing With The Stars." Talk about your missed opportunities, am I right?

The iPhone makes its much anticipated debut. Six months later, Pezhead Monthly's consultant Dr. Pez explains to Pezheads just how valuable this device really is.

February

The Indianapolis Colts defeat the Chicago Bears to win Super Bowl XLI. Quarterback Peyton Manning credits the team's victory to good coaching, quality teamwork, and the comforting fact that there are not one but two Pez conventions within 5 hours of Indianapolis for the players to attend during the off season.

In an effort to look like her favorite Pez dispenser, Gargamel from the Smurf set, Britney Spears shaves her head. Soon thereafter, upon losing a heated bidding war for a mint on card Gargamel Pez on eBay, Britney flips out and attacks a Pez clown hiding for his dear life inside a car.

After purchasing a vintage Pez Astronaut online, astronaut Lisa Nowak drives from Texas to Florida to pick it up. She brings along several items, such as latex gloves (handle those vintage Pez with care), rubber tubing (to safely store the Pez for the drive home), a disguise (just for fun), and diapers (in the event that she lost control of her bodily functions when she saw her new Pez... hey, it happens).

March

The movie 300 opens, detailing one Pezhead's budding collection of 300 dispensers, and introducing one of the year's most oft-repeated catchphrases: "SPARTANS! Tonight we dine on Pez!"

April

After a lengthy dispute and paterrnity test, Larry Birkhead is proven to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. More than anything, he is happy to finally have someone to whom he can pass on his Pez collection.

Larry King celebrates 50 years in broadcasting. Congratulations, Larry, even if you are a little late to the party that began when Pez celebrated 50 years in America in 2002. But hey, it's all good, buddy.

May

Paris Hilton is sentenced to 45 days in jail. That's what she gets for going out all night partying, neglecting all those poor Pez dispensers.

Jordin Sparks becomes the next American Idol. Her clinching performance comes with a powerful rendition of Pezamania High.

June

Paris Hilton is released from jail early when a judge concludes that, even though she did severely neglect her Pez dispensers, she always did come back home to them. After all, keeping Paris in jail and away from all of those Pez around the clock amounts to cruel and unusual punishment.

One of television's most acclaimed dramas, The Sopranos, ends with a black screen. The events that unfold beforehand were eerily foretold one month earlier in this Pezhead Monthly feature.

July

Alan Webb breaks the 25-year old American Record in the mile run, clocking in at just under 3 minutes 47 seconds. When interviewed after the achievement, an out-of-breath Webb claims he wasn't even trying to break a record, he was just trying to get to Wal-Mart to see if any new Pez dispensers had arrived.

Hundreds of Pezheads make the journey to Cleveland, Ohio for Pezamania 17. Including this guy.

August

Barry Bonds breaks the home run record with his 756th homer. However, in the record books there will always be an asterisk next to his name. This is because in addition to setting a new home run record, Bonds is also well known for his impressive Pez collection, including the highly regarded vintage Pez baseball dispenser.

September

Halo 3 is released for the Xbox 360 video game system, instantly taking in millions of dollars. Analysts are stunned at this development, as most of the nation's money had assumed to be spent at one or more of the 3 Pez conventions from June through August (St. Louis, Cleveland, and Minneapolis). However, video gamers rejoice at playing the game online and seeing so many others with "Pezhead" in their gamer tag. Even when fragging a warthog, Pez is there.

During a speech by Senator John Kerry, a college student accidentally spills some Pez on the floor while trying to reload his dispenser. Mistaking the incident for a terrorist threat, campus police throw the student to the floor and shock him with a taser gun. Let this be a lesson to all Pezheads: when it comes to loading your Pez dispensers, you can never have enough practice. And for goodness sake, never find yourself in a situation where you have to say "Don't Pez me, bro."

October

Al Gore wins the Nobel Peace Prize. Upon accepting it, Gore gives a lengthy, captivating speech about how proud he is to receive this award. Towards the end of the speech, as he looks down at the medal and, realizing that it is the Nobel Peace Prize and not the Nobel Pez Prize, he abruptly leaves the stage in tears and is never heard from again.

Drew Carey takes over as host of the Price is Right, replacing longtime host Bob Barker who heads off to retirement. Hey Drew, I think you're a great guy and everything, but isn't it about time to update those prizes? Maybe, instead of a lifetime supply of Turtle Wax, there can be some vintage Pez behind Door Number 1. Perhaps a Pinocchio after a hard-fought game of Plinko. I'd come on down for that any day of the week.

Hannah Montana tickets go on sale and sell out in minutes. Scalpers sell the tickets for up to thousands of dollars each. Jeez, the things some people will do for Pez fundage.

November

Television and movie writers go on strike for, among other things, their fair share of Internet and DVD revenues. In honor of the strike, I will leave the connection to Pez unwritten.

The University of Notre Dame's college football team wraps up a somewhat less than stellar season, going 1-11 for the year. However, Notre Dame Football Pez was kind enough to stop by for a visit, so things aren't all that bad.

December

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