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Five
Questions for the Dinosaur Pez Flashlight top
of page | cover page
Pezhead
Monthly: Dinosaur
Pez Flashlight, you tower over normal sized Pez dispensers.
Do you ever look out at the multitudes of Pez and wonder
what life would be like as one of them?
Dinosaur Pez Flashlight (center),
along with "Mini-Me" (left) and "Mini-Mini-Me"
(right). |
Dinosaur
Pez Flashlight: There are days when
I feel like that, sure. One can only take so many
annoying questions like "Say, buddy, how's
the weather up there?" and "Does your
nose bleed at that high an altitude?" and "Why
aren't you playing Pez basketball?" But I think
it's important to reflect on the positive attributes
of being larger than most Pez. I command much respect,
yet I am known in many circles as "the gentle
giant." Sort of like Robert on "Everybody
Loves Raymond." And lest I get too full of
myself, there's even bigger Pez out there, like
the Pez bank and the new Giant dispensers.
PM:
Your resemblance to one of the normal-sized Dinosaur
Pez dispensers is uncanny. Have you ever been accused
of playing favorites, and if so, how do you respond?
DPF:
Well, there's no denying that there's
a special place in my heart for the smaller version
of myself. I like to call him Mini-Me, but that's
just because I'm a big fan of "Austin Powers."
We just have more in common than most other Pez.
But really, the day I turn my back on a fellow Pez
is a day I just don't see happening.
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PM:
Unlike most other Pez, Dinosaur Pez Flashlight, you have
the ability to produce light when you are opened. Do you
view this as a blessing or a curse?
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DPF:
Allow me to shed some light on your
question (bursts into an extended period of laughter).
It truly is illuminating (giggles) to have
such ability. I don't know whose bright idea (snickers)
it was to put this light bulb in my throat, but
without it I think I'd truly be in the dark (guffaws,
then abruptly turns serious). Sorry, I never
get tired of those jokes. Seriously, though, it's
an honor to be considered such a valuable resource
should the electricity suddenly go out or something.
I like the fact that I can be used to find stuff,
especially if it means finding other Pez.
PM:
Plus, I think it's an interesting metaphor. The
light you emit is much like the candy that comes
out of normal Pez dispensers, in that it represents
wonder and possibility, and that it never fails
to brighten someone's day. Pretty neat, huh?
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Dinosaur Pez Flashlight sheds some
light on the situation. |
DPF:
Okay, you're getting way over my head here.
PM:
Sorry about that. And finally, Dinosaur Pez Flashlight,
as the first interviewed Pez of 2002, what are your hopes
for this New Year?
DPF:
I hope that I'm not used for evil purposes
this year, like for burglary or for temporarily blinding
someone. I also hope for those new extended power batteries.
But mostly, I hope that somewhere, somehow, I can be a
beacon to all other Pez (falls over in laughter, then,
while on the floor:) Ha ha ha! A beacon to all other
Pez! I kill me.
The
Pez Almost-Quote of the Month
top
of page | cover page
"I
know what you're thinking. Did he dispense twelve Pez
candies or only eleven? Well, to tell you the truth, in
all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But
being as this is a Pez dispenser, the most powerful spring-loaded
toy in the world, and would blow your head clean off,
you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?'
Well, do ya punk?"
Pez
Palindromes (In Honor of the Year 2002, Also a Palindrome)
top of page | cover
page
Palindromes
are of course words or phrases that are spelled the same
forwards and backwards. Herewith, to celebrate 2002, a
few Pez palindromes...
1. Not a craze! Pez: arc; a ton.
(Meaning:
Many crazes have come and gone, but Pez, continuous like
an arc and well-grounded like a ton, is here to stay.)
2. Boy: booze=Pez. Oo! B.Y.O.B.
(Meaning:
Pez is truly intoxicating, so make sure you have some
of your own on tap.)
3.
In a maze: Pez, a man… I?
(Meaning:
Confusion sets in when Pez is consumed. Candy becomes
part of man, man becomes part of candy… does the
self evaporate, or rather does it evolve? Dude, whoa!)
The
Month in Pez
top of page | cover
page
January 9, 1778: Connecticut
becomes the 5th American state, thereby centuries later
ensuring a home for Pez Candy, USA.
January
11, 1964: The first US Surgeon General's report
declaring smoking hazardous to one's health is released.
The good news is that collecting Pez continues to provide
numerous health benefits.
January
15, 1975: Pezhead Monthly editor Joe Durrant
was born in Rochester, New York. It is alleged that he
cried from the moment that the doctor slapped him to the
day he got his first Pez dispenser.
January 24, 1941: Legendary musician Neil
Diamond is born. Everywhere around the world, they're
comin' to the Pez display…
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